Friday, January 10, 2014

FULL METAL JACK IT

Pornstars - always with the dimensions...

Hey! I just made up a joke...

Brace yourselves...

Why are pornstars basically responsible for the advent of metal?
Because they've been making men rock hard since the sixties!

Anyway, all this came about when I happened upon some rather awesome news. Cape Town's own wrecking ball act, The Warinsane, have now added another accolade to their already impressive list of achievements - being devastatingly heavy and counting me as a fan on top of that particular list.
They now also have photographic evidence of stardom overseas - and not just any ol' pubescent problem-child who stumbled upon their brand of fire 'n' brimstone either! Oh no, dear reader!
None other than the ever enchanting Miss Ariella Ferrera (pictured above sporting a Warinsane shirt), an honest to goodness real life porn star! I've never wanted to be a local metal tshirt more in my life!

They say it's what's inside that counts. That if you have a kind heart it doesn't matter if you're a bit of a mongrel. That one shouldn't judge a book by its cover. That the music recorded on the disc is more important than the cover artwork. In this case I think we can all agree that both the packaging and what lurks beneath make quite the combined masterpiece! Well done, lads! Look out for their brand of bruising metal coming your way (if you happen to endure the despair of "living" in Joburg) at the Emalyth Art(s)Expo. Along with the symphonic fury of Suiderbees and the sardonic ferocity of ING, the Cape Brigade is going to show you what you've been missing...

Fuck. The closest I ever came to this level of validation was being allowed to touch the Jenna Jameson Randy Rhoads V at Bothners. I have one of those Wayne's World "She will be mine" moments every time I walk in there. Papa wag vir jou, my sweetheart. One day I'll be feeling "saucy"...

Speaking of local metal and all things 'full-frontal nudity' related, Mind Assault have just released a sneaky little number. If you're up to the challenge, I suggest you go and listen. It's called 'Mag Verkrag' and you can catch some more here.

It being Friday and all, let the irreverence flow. May you have an enthralling weekend and may your hangovers be thoroughly deserved. Now go and kiss a metalhead. Go on! You know you want to, you naughty little pornstar, you!

NGDG: Why is there always a goddamn peppercorn hiding in your last mouthful of food?

Spread The Love. Glory Holes Interfere With The Electronics And The Strings.

1 comment:

  1. ########################################
    Ariella Ferrera and Allison Moore with Big Dildo
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    [PICTURES]
    [VIDEO #1] | [VIDEO #2]
    [VIDEO #3] | [VIDEO #4]
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