Designated Disaster

So this weekend was a total bust. And not the good kind of bust...

Well, the birthday parties I went to were awesome. Right until I had to do the responsible thing and stop drinking. Then the rose tinted spectacles came clanging down with spectacular velocity.

You see, I no longer have what's lovingly refered to as a better half. Lamentable, I know. So I now spend a lot more time worrying about driving myself home. The extra beers I used to pack into the cooler box are now replaced with a 2l Sprite. Lame, I know... But at this time of year, it is advisable to exercise caution.

Add to that the distinct lack of service on hand when I took my car in on Saturday morning (I now have to wait en entire week) and the lack of stock of the other thing I was looking to buy (retail therapy) AND a relatively unsuccessful attempt at Christmas shopping, and you have one times bunny that - more so than usual - needed those extra drinks. Enter Mr Misery.

And DO NOT get me started on that suburb, Bumfuck, Ohio. You know the one prefered by every yuppy in Cape Town. Formerly known as Tableau Voi. I went to the mall there and it was closed at 6pm! 6PM! ! ! On a Saturday! In December! Smack in the middle of Yuletide madness! What.The.Fuck...

I still can't see how anyone can live there...

At least today is going alright...

Oh, and p(m)s, Congrats to the BlackMilkers for walking away with all the prizes. Now I'm never gonna hear the end of it.

Spread the love. You know mos.

Festival Of Beer

Now we know how and why religions start - and why they always have their own festivals. Just saying.


I've been very slack. My excuse is as follows. Documenting my last month or 2 and the kak I've had to go through is something I'd rather not share. Simple, innit?


I will tell you this though. I have done very well in the "drinking myself into sweet oblivion and thereby numbing any anguish I might otherwise have felt" stakes.

Your guess is as good as mine as to how far this current phase is going to last. Personally I think I'm getting to the "cult" status. Perhaps this weekend's FESTIVAL OF BEER might be just the thing to finally tip my boozing into the mystic realms of actual religion...


Personally, I recommend to any potential parishioners of my budding new faith the exquisite Napier Bier that'll be available over the weekend. Also a good friend of mine, known simply as JDP, brought me some Darling Beer recently, and it was quite good I must say.


Ok, it's not a budding new faith. It's a deep seated obsession and medicinal crutch.


So, see you at the Festival. I'm going Swaggart on yer ass! Plus I'm probably going to die -and find out just how successful my bid to turn alcoholism into "afterlife-like" religion- was or is. More info here: http://capetownfestivalofbeer.co.za/


Spread the love. By the tankard.

BLACK LABEL DRAUGHT AND MUSICAL MAYHEM

Urgh. It's official. I will never learn.


Last night I was in a fight. With Black Label Draught. It kicked my arse.


YourLMG and Mercury conspired to organise the mother of all music quiz nights. Our team of lovable delinquents finished third out of 20 participating teams! Third is the new last. There were prizes for the top 2 finishes. Bugger. Only prize I got was this monumental hangover.


Thanks to all involved and especially all in Team Burger King. \m/


Spread the love. Quietly.

Punt

Wow! Would you look at the awesome design work here. This is the official poster/flyer design for the LOVECATS event. Done by my mate Stephen Green http://www.facebook.com/#!/profile.php?id=728745420

And he didn't complain once what all my to and fro and making adjustments, etc. The patience of Job and the talent of Michelangelo I tell you!

The beautiful ladies are the respective lead singers of the 3 bands that are performing on the night - DO NOT miss out! They were photographed by the mad and talented Dr-Benway http://www.facebook.com/#!/group.php?gid=5566143106 and this all happened at Rooiwolf Studios http://www.rooiwolfstudio.com/

So much has been given by so many in order to make this event possible. Please go and check out their work. And see you there!

Spread the luuurve good 'n' thick.

Monday Monster Moan

Hangovers. Crikey. Hangovers...

DSW birthday party on Saturday night. Went as a polar bear. Wore a white hoodie and white long johns. No one got it. The theme was "opposites". Maybe I'm too mysterious or subtle. Maybe people are dumb shits.

Saturday morning was greeted in the way I imagine I would greet the Grim Reaper one day. Crusty eyed and feeling like sewerage inside and out. Out into the blazing sun I strode and thought of offing myself. Must have still been drunk because next thing you know I'm off to C-Anal Walk. Don't ask. I don't know the answer.
But there I did behold a thing of rare wonder. Summer is here folks. All the girlies were prancing about in skimpy little shorts. It was glorious! Quite naturally my eyes were pulled in several directions at once, until they fell on the sight of sights.
A cell phone being carried around tucked snugly between two perfectly perky breasts. I tell you - it made my day! What an awesome concept.

Moving on.
Attempted a potjie last night. Success! So now, like most SA males, I hereby declare myself an expert. Celebrated the monumental success of the potjie with too much wine.

The cycle continues...

Spread the love in a consensual and responsible manner. And book you Lovecats ticket at computicket.

I love this shirt!

As usual - the title and picture of this blog have bugger all to do with the content...

Today I am reminded of all those people that buggered off in search of greener pastures. Whilst it IS true that we have some difficulties to overcome in our fair land, none of these has yet to overwhelmingly affect yours truly, so is the grass really greener on the other side?

But that's not the point of this post. I am looking forward tremendously to the return, albeit only for a holiday, of 2 of the nearest and dearest of these far away friends early next year.

I have already started planning activities and rounding up the locals to make sure their participation is guaranteed. Well, I thought we'd go wine tasting at Steenberg. That's about it so far...

In the not so distant future, I have a friend from the Big Shitty (Jhb) visiting which I am also looking forward to - should be an epic weekend (same as the one Lovecats is on - see below).


In other news, it is the other half of the Demonic Sibling Wolfpack's birthday today - Happy Snotty Birthday! Party of epic proportions planned for the weekend, with a theme of "opposites". What the fuck am I supposed to wear for opposites? The last time someone went vague with their fancy dress suggestion, I ended up going as a box of chocolates with red fishnet stockings on...

KICKIN' IT FOR THE KITTIES ! ! !

Lovecats is an annual event that showcases the best alternative bands for your entertainment and for a good cause.

*ALL PROCEEDS FROM THIS EVENT GET PAID DIRECTLY TO TEARS*
That's The Emma Animal Rescue Society.

This year boasts a group of bands that will blow your socks clean off! A strong line up of female fronted bands is set to rock your world! Add to that, the chance to win an electric guitar on the night and tons more prizes, this promises to be the most worthwhile babalas of your life!

Performing on 5th November at Mercury, from about 9:30pm onwards will be:
TERMINATRYX
COLD HAND CHEMISTRY
WITNESS TO WOLVES
BLACK ORCHID BURLESQUE TROUPE

Many, many people and organisations have been kind and generous enough to participate and contribute their skills, talent, time, product or service - and for that we should all be infinitely grateful.
Paul Bothner Music
Mercury Live
Wildfire Tattoos and Body Piercing Clinics
YourLMG Magazine
Black Milk Productions
Rooiwolf Photographic Studios
Cadillac Barbie
Nerine Dorman (author)
New Rock Boots and Shoes
Flamedrop Productions
SA Horrorfest
Wolf Clothing
Stephen Green Graphic Design

LOVECATS is also the official after party for the SA Horrorfest, which concludes earlier that evening. The organisers are very kindly rescreening 'Vick-Tory For The Underdog', a truly heartwarming 'tail' and the 'purrrrr'fect' warm up for what promises to be an awesome night out. Erm...
Also go out and pick up your very own copy of YourLMG, home of Cape Town's muso sect and the hosts of the Pub Quiz Night - the legendary nights where you lose more brain cells than you use... YourLMG, passed out at a bar near you!

And if that's not enough... Tons of prizes and give aways on the night! We are GIVING AWAY A GUITAR! YES YOU HEARD ME! You could walk away with a brand new guitar, proudly sponsored by Paul Bothner Music...

Please spread the word by any means necessary - and make a plan to be there!

Remember, remember, the 5th of November! Please send this along to anyone you think might enjoy it or that would be interested in attending. If not for the animals, then for the party animal in you and all of us!

Spread the love.