ARE YOU READY FOR A WHOPPER?

Ah, where to begin today? I could offer you some more unwanted insight into the woes of man. Or perhaps a vague review of what ails social media that's too trite to read all the way through. Pop culture? You don't need me to tell you what to consume or which so-called celebritney needs your undivided attention - good or otherwise - on their Twitter feed so that they can buy yet more shit you'll never afford.

Maybe I should stick to being the misanthropic optimist I've always been. When I get to that pot of gold, I'm sure it'll be spray painted a darker hue.

Rather let the experts share their opinions on how excess has ruined a generation. Or at least the privileged fraction. Enter William Welfare, journalist, muso, philosophical philanthropist. He's been around for some time, taking shots at the soft underbelly of a bloated industry for a while now - if you've been paying any attention.

And his band, also called William Welfare, have a new video. Their first English effort, the single '4 Cups Of Dust', is a song I thought warranted much praise as it struck the right kind of chords with me - straightforward, no nonsense rocking out. The next video I saw was the unavoidably enjoyable 'Elephant Man' replete with super sexy nomadic tribeswomen, even sexier tight golden spandex and the flailing fantasy phalli of the Cocktopuss. So the new video, 'Fat People', had quite a lot to live up to...

And it does not disappoint. This "ominous take on the obesity crisis of the Western world mixed with a Southern, deep fried, tongue-in-cheek country shuffle" is the perfect antidote for a world run by fat cats and populated by mindless, bullshit guzzling morons. Documenting the rampantly rotund and the fast food culture, showing clips of tasty super models getting a burger shoved into their perfect mouths (my favourite part for obvious reasons...) and the band themselves rocking out to this well worded slice of sonic satire, like the irrepressible Kyle Gray on drums, it hits the spot. Watch it. Enjoy it.

[*Disclaimer: If you've somehow managed to take offence, then may I suggest that your fuller figure is the least of your problems. It also means you didn't bother to watch the video before hurtling towards righteous indignation like a pie truck with no brakes. Unless you're part of the Super Size Me 'Murican Elite. I which case I don't really give a fuck.]

Ok, you draaaaaaaagged it out of me, so I will let you in on a little secret. Tonight I have my first rehearsal with TERMINATRYX in 4 years. I'm spreading the love and playing a song with them as they celebrate their 12th year of existence with a gig at Mercury on Friday. They'll be playing with SUBVERS, who happen to be such nice blokes that I am allowed to play guitar for them as well. So if you'd like a double dose of delinquent drunken doos, this is your best chance!

NGDG: There are more umbrellas crowding the entrance than in a Hong Kong protest camp.

Spread The Love. Fat People Have Feelings Too.