Once again, nothing to do with anything.
That is of course if you're not an advocate of the death penalty making a return. Which you shouldn't be. I find it temporarily amusing that so many people baying for the re-institution of the lethal injection are the same dumb fucks who can't help but point out the obvious shortcomings in our judicial system. Clearly not the brightest peanuts in the turd.
If you subjected me to Guantanamo Bay style torture, having bamboo shoots inserted under my nails, enduring a Parliamentary sitting, watching an entire 3Talk with Noeleen show, or if you forced to listen to the latest Nickelback offering on repeat, I really wouldn't be able to pinpoint what got me to that epiphany. And I hate using the word "random" altogether. It's just another reminder of the literary void exemplified in the current generation of layabout slouching youths. If I use enough big words I can distinguish myself from them. Or come across as a gigantic arsehole. Your choice.
The point is I really don't know.
Usually by now when I "just start writing" I have assembled some sort of idea what the subject matter is going to be for the day, but that tried and trusted method of shaping my mindless regurgitation is failing me today. I could tell you about the wonderful Garfunkel & Oates singing comedy act that I discovered on the intrawebs, but you lot probably already know of them. I just recognised them from cameo appearances in Big Bang Theory.
I wish I had more to offer. I wish I had something more constructive to add to the development of humanity. I wish I had bigger biceps...
Perhaps I should make an attempt at that 'contributing to humanity' thing. Seems like the one with the least effort involved. I'll try and steer clear of classics like "Don't be a dick, be cool":
- Adopt or foster a rescued animal. If you can't, then do something to aid the institutions that save them.
- Observe netiquette. Don't repost willy nilly. Everyone has probably seen that shit a million times and for goodness sake, use an anti-hoax site before you get your tits in a tangle.
- Avoid "reply all" at ALL costs.
- Get outside and exercise in the fresh air. Unless you reside in Lavender Hill.
- Call your folks - if you're still fortunate enough to have. And stick up for your father, he stuck up for you.
- Life's too short for bad music, cheap women or running out of booze. (Bad music is, incidentally, an affront for which I would gladly act as judge, jury and executioner. But it is the only instance in which the death penalty would be acceptable. And only if it offends my sensitive senses.)
- Never fail to take advantage of an opportunity to help someone. Unless it's at your front door and you'd like to avoid a steady procession of beggars.
- Always wear clean underwear? Hah! I say never wear ANY underwear! That way the paramedics will think you are way more risque/popular than you really are.
- Don't marry your job, unless you're one of the lucky ones who do what they love.
- Use spell check.
- Recycle as much as you can.
- And in the immortal words of Aretha Franklin, try a little respect. It goes a long way.
I still have no idea where any of this came from.
NGDG: This is why I live here. This makes me more patriotic than Candice Hillebrand in a green and gold g-string.
Spread The Love. Not The Ignorance.
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