Monday, September 15, 2014


I'm broken. Fucking totally and utterly spent. Kla, finished, overska-dovers...
And not because "I'm too old for this shit..." either, just because I had one HELL of a weekend. And as one does when one is having a splendid time, one imbibes.

Saturday night's Sepultura gig was IMMENSE! The preceding weeks' gefuffle about presale tickets seemed a distant foggy memory as Assembly filled up nicely to welcome the Brazil Nuts From Hell. Opening proceedings were the inimitable ING. And this is where I need to stop and carefully consider my next words. And they are as follows... Given the right presentation, in the form of world class sound and lighting, we are sitting on a fucking goldmine of international standard talent here in li'l ol' Slaapstad. ING were INGcredible! Clearly reveling in the chance to spread their tongue-in-cheek bile from this elevated platform, they excelled, leaving little left over for the other 2 bands to break.

Next up, the long awaited return to a Cape Town stage for Groinchurn. All I can say about them is, wow! If making massively impressive, hooky and intense music is what life's all about, and having an absolute ball doing so, then these guys have got it just right. The energy with which they performed was infectious, and given the fact that most people haven't heard these guys before (and those of us that had, did so 15 years ago), getting the crowd to go that mental was no mean feet.

And then, as if someone stuck Megamaid's vacuum cleaner into the bar area, the almighty fucking Sepultura bestrode the stage. I've seen them before. I am fortunate that way. But no amount of knowing what to expect can prepare you for the awe you feel when presented with a show of that magnitude. And for the record, fuck me, but that drummer of theirs is on another level altogether! He's simply beyond belief! As is their entire repertoire! We were treated to the mandatory classics and some monstrous newer material, all combining to devastating effect, and treating Cape Town to a night we shall not easily forget. I take my hat off to the guys at Witchdoctor Productions for the effort, the vision, the risk and the persistence that they have shown in being able to bring these world renowned bands here, for us. We owe you a huge debt of gratitude.

What's a blog post without a good whinge, eh?

Why in the glorious great fuck did the lights keep tripping at Assembly? At one stage when I could tear myself away long enough to grab a beer, I swear I even heard the stage go dead. Although In my defence, I was severely impaired by then. What with the very real intent to get as bladdered as humanly possible. Which did happen.

And to that grizzled old veteran standing in front and being a miserable git, stop being a huge dick. Yes, I agree that chivalry should never be overlooked, but kakking out the laaities who were clearly having the time of their lives, moshing their little hearts out, and admonishing them for getting too close to your lady friend? What the flying fuck? If you can't stand the heat, stay the fuck out of the pit. You're clearly a lifelong fan and follower of the heavy metals; has this never occurred to you? If you want to be an old bitter doos, come and join me at the back, far enough away and safe from the danger zone. I'll even buy you a beer. Besides, what you were doing borders on sexism. The ladies know how to look after themselves, trust me. Once, this young lady introduced herself to me with rather excessive force, resulting in me being launched onto a stage and breaking some plastic garden furniture. The bruised ribs could be from falling on the chair or the initial impact from her "Juliet-Lewis-in-Natural-Born-Killers" spear tackle.

Sunday I awoke feeling pretty sorry for myself, but that is a report for later... a tale in which I reveal my tastes for the finer things in life. And becoming a farm labourer, but not entirely to be paid with the dop system...

NGDG: There's a new vagrant on my route who is either a former cricketer or just cavalier with serifs. Sod Bless!

Spread The Love. \m/

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