Wednesday, May 20, 2015


Yes, folks, this is my... ta ta daa daaaah! Six hundred and sixty sixth post!

Everything is kak! Everything is in a shambles!
I may as well have started like with 'Fly On The Windscreen'.

Actually, the only kak here is that which is coming out of my mouth. Via my keyboard. Obviously.
Life is peachy and I have very, very little I can (even) complain about.

Just don't get me started on the music biz.

I declared earlier on FB that I wanted to start a band called LIKE, SHARE, FOLLOW & THE SELFIE SCHTICKZ. Because having spent my entire adult (straight face, I swear) life trying to make something of substance other than my frequent toilet breaks, I have almost reached a point where I would like to see some return for my constant effort. Hence my suggestion to form a group or become an artist with seemingly no talent and no end to back-end support. And I'm not talking about adult diapers either. I also want to mutilate a popular phrase and splooge it all over a second rate beat while looking like a smug schmuck. I already have a crippling sense of superiority, so I'm halfway there!

I even have proposed song titles...

Bitch stab me in the back (wit' a swagger)
Don't poke me, don't poke me (in my hashtag)
Ain't got no big butt, but I still got mi'yinns.
Shitz gettin' Cray-Cray(YOLO) - multicolour mix

And then in a moment of ultimate blasphemy, I'd do a Cure cover... "Pictures Of Me"... but that would be a Jack Parowdy.

As you have no doubt discovered by now, I am having a slow day at work. And on top of that, I have loadshedding to look forward to tonight halfway through band practice. Lovely.

Actually, perhaps a barf-metal band would be a better idea. You know, the kind that concerns themselves mainly with themes of partying and drinking. I could write such celebratory gems as "Bladder Betrayal" and "Legions Of The Legless" and tour the world getting ironically drunk.

Anyway, suppose I'd better stop now before someone (me) gets hurt.

Spread The Love. It's All In The Eyes.

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