Wednesday, February 19, 2014


Neigh... bours. Everybody needs good neigh... bours.

I was going to write "Spank dat ass" but then I realised how silly and grammatically current that sentence is.

Well, this is awkward. I started a post and have sweet fuck all to contribute to your daily recommended allowance of anything worthwhile. So, everything as it's always been then...

Forgive my absence from your screens, minds, and lust-nodes of late. I decided that, much like "if you don't have anything nice to say", I'd rather refrain from poisoning your collective conscience than filling it with pointless drivel that only barely scrapes past being annoying because of the hit and miss nature of what I like to think of as humour.

As for things on which to report from my ever so exciting life, let's see. I work. I drink. I attempt the creation of something lasting that will touch everyone. Deeply. Then I realise that German porn exists and I give up and go to sleep, only to rinse and repeat the next day.

I did have a fantastic weekend though. The Hot Girlfriend and I spent an awesome weekend free of social obligations. The stuff I can report on includes a game of putt-putt, a stroll along the Promenade, the least value-for-money ice cream ever served and the second best potjie ever created. Yes folks. Second only to the DSW Wunder-potjie from a few years back that won the inaugural Tarty Farty Tequila Party Birthday Potjie-Off, this "venison-marinated-in-buttermilk" masterpiece was a wild success. Ahem...

And speaking of Tarty. She has taken some much needed initiative and joined parliament. Well, close enough, except she's actually doing something. Seeing as her local ward still hasn't wheeled out the recycling bins in her area, she has taken it upon herself to become the Recycle Queen of Harfield. Picture a small bohemian Mugato in full 'Derelicte' regalia. She'll pick up your recyclable material for a nominal fee. Peanuts for the overwhelming feeling of contributing to the welfare of the planet that will wash over you! So here's your chance to do something to help the environment in a real way. Sharing pictures of tortured animals will only get you half way to heaven. Unlike sharing pictures of exotic holiday locations and pricey consumer must-haves. That'll obviously guarantee unforgettable getaways and cupboards full of shoes and appliances you'll never wear or use.

Ok, so can anyone pleasefortheloveoftheholyvirginMary explain to me what in the everloving fuck the point of TWO castings is. Casting 1: Go in. Make a tit of yourself so that casting agent can film it and they can choose you to make a tit of yourself when the director yells "Action". But wait! There's more! Casting 2: Go in. Make a tit of yourself so that the director (who hired the casting agent to film Casting 1) can choose you to make a tit of yourself when the director yells "Action". Seems a little redundant, don't you think? They must think no one has a job. Wankers. I'll take your money. But not if it's too much trouble.

Anyway, tonight is recording night again. TDB and I have some work to do. Another monolithic slice of all things nice will soon be on its way to completion. And I don't mean the screaming and biting pillows variety, either...

And a super-duper extra special shout out to Mein Sohn on his Cake Day. Hope you have the best birthday ever! It's my prerogative to buy you a beer!

NGDG: The neighbours are singing along to RnB, commiserating and talking boyfriends and abortions. They should put a warning label on that stuff.

Spread The Love. Unbridled!

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