Friday, December 21, 2012


Who'd have thought that the song heralding the end of it all, the soundtrack to the Apocalypse, would in fact be sung by Julie Andrews and 7 annoying brats? Mind you, now I come to think of it, the signs have been there all along...

So, this will be my last post of the year. Mainly because the end is nigh, but also because I have no internet access away from work. That's right! 2 weeks of blissfully not knowing what each and every one of you wankers had for lunch or continual updates on your fragile states of mind. I intend taking full advantage and slowly drowning myself with beer. You may take that as my daily update in abstentia.

Already the social engagements (and one wedding) are piling up. I fear I'll not be as rested as I'd hoped at the end of this holiday. I suppose that isn't the end of the world. We as a species are permanently tired anyway. When last did any of you feel completely rested? I can't remember a time...

Ah yes, then there's the cricket. Let's hope the SABC have miraculously managed to separate head and bottom. I will be most distressed if I can't indulge in my favourite holiday ritual - snoozing in front of the cricket on the telly. Just on Skype with The Queen, discussing the list of activities for the holidays. The cricket is definitely right up there. Along with the obvious beer and wine intake, the lying around comatose, the frequent visits to the beach, the copious amount of braaing and the hours and hours stuck in studio. That's right! You heard me. Keep 'em peeled ladies and gentlemen, you may have an actual product in the new year that will melt your head. All that will be left is your glowing ear canals and a supercilious grin.

And on that note, I wish each and every one of you a fantastic, fun filled holiday. Please be responsible drivers. Remember, the only thing worse than a chance encounter with a car sporting GP plates is a knowing grin from the Polsmoor Welcoming Committee. Do not become a statistic, road accident or prison bumming.

NGDG: My kingdom for a lozenge! Maybe not its entirety. A portion of it, I mean. The rocky patch by the septic tanks.

Spread The Love. Happy Holidays!

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