Thursday, January 3, 2013
A DOG'S LIFE. YOU HAVE THE IDIOM WRONG.
So now apparently owning domestic canines makes you a recceest. Fuck me! Really? Is it coz you're in bed with the Chinese, who have the forward thinking to consider them tasty delicacies? The same fuckers with small dicks ruining our tourism trade and our local clothing industry?
It needs to be said. Our Prez For Lifebouy is a fucking short sighted, self-serving cunt with no regard for the people who put him in power. History, my dear fellow, has a way of dealing with the likes of you. Read up.
In case you were wondering what I'm on about, Happy New Year to you too! I refer to the following:
Here's a picture of a Black South African with his pet Rhodesian Ridgeback. It was taken some time in the 1950s. By feeding and caring for this dog, this South African was, according to our president, turning his back on his culture and doing white shit. What's worse is that in an attempt to explain his behaviour, the president's spokesman, Mac Maharaj, said Jacob Zuma was trying to "decolonise the African mind" when he criticised animal welfare and looking after pets as "white culture". [Niell Le Roux]
I'd like to include looking after and nurturing some other rubbish like: education, the economy, health care, the old and frail, and any semblance of human compassion. Fuck you. I hope you die a gruesome death. Preferably from something symbolic. Soon.
Anyway, in brighter news, the New Year test match is going swimmingly, although I am glad I refrained from buying tickets for a lovely Saturday at Newlands watching the starlings.
As usual, there isn't all that much out of the ordinary to report on from this time off. I sincerely hope each and every one of you have had a restful, fulfilling festive season and have entered into the new year refreshed and ready to take on the shovels full of kak life is no doubt going to dish out with renewed vim and vigour. With a special blob of "chin up" cream and a cherry to make it all better for a special mate. You know who you are.
Do you make resolutions? Other than adjusting the refresh rate on your gaming screen? I did. Privately. I thought if I made it public, I'd jinx myself, but then I realised if I don't let everyone in on it, there would be no incentive. I propose to become a healthier (and by that I mean fitter and with actual pecs) person this year. So if you're ever in the uncomfortable situation where you're suddenly aware of a pained, tortured, ghostly apparition flailing and wailing itself in your general vicinity, gnashing and sporting new running shoes, fear not. It's probably me...
So, in conclusion. All the best for you and yours. Unless you're a greedy, stupid, fat fuck of a dictator. Then my wish for you this year is to be stuck in your own personal hell. Perhaps an emergency vasectomy at Baragwaneth. Just after they mysteriously run out of anaesthesia.
And DO NOT get me started on the Matric Results. Might as well just start dishing out school certificates and Diplomas Picked From A Hat when a child turns 6. It's not like they're going to learn anything at school worth knowing anyway. Unless they introduce "How to drive the teachers to suicide because I know they can't do anything to me" as a subject. Most would excel, but I'm afraid parliament isn't hiring at the moment.
NGDG: I want to secretly swap those red plastic rhino horns on car grilles with little yellow dildos.
Spread The Love. But Not To Animals. That Shit's Too White.