ONE FOR THE MONEY... TWO FOR THE SHOW

...three to get ready...
...Oh for fuck's sake!

Inspired by Elvis. If obese, sweaty druggies barely capable of operating the most basic of their own bodily functions is your thing...

So today is the anniversary of the atrocities committed on 9/11. Without going into the world of conspiracy theory, I find myself asking this question: Would religious zealots have allegedly bombed American strategic targets if America had just left them and their oil rich land alone? Did they not consider the possibility of reprisal from the greatest military might ever assembled under one flag? Seems a little short sighted to me... Also, if you're going to pay tribute or respect today, it's about the victims and not about whodunnit. Many, many real people lost their lives because one group or the other designated them expendable. I don't know who did it. To be quite honest I am not sure if anyone will ever find out. But hear this. Whoever it was, I hope and wish with all my heart and soul that there is a hell of unspeakable suffering and torture and that you have secured yourself a one way ticket. Do not pass begin. Do not pass the Pearly Gates. Do not get 72 Virgins. There. That about covers it.

To heap misery onto tragedy, last night a water pipe burst in my kitchen. Thank goodness I was awake and able to deal with it quickly. Thank goodness the Hot Girlfriend grabbed every towel to staunch the flow down the passage towards the studio. Thank goodness it isn't funny seeing a slipper and dressing gown clad metal head down on all fours on the driveway turning off a stopcock. Make of that sentence what you will.

In breaking news: Prez 4 Lifebouy has gone and made another jaw dropping utterance. Between pushing his glasses up to the bridge of his nose continuously in a barely veiled middle finger fuck you (trademark stuff, that. I wonder if Mugabe's jealous) Zuma maintains lack of service delivery is apartheid's fault. I also want a nice fresh 18 year old democracy to fuck until it can't take any more. On your knees South Africa!

So let's see, all good things come in fours. According to me anyway. What could today dish up to complete the set?

Let's make it All Fours Tuesday! Ah yes! That's it! Some utter pillock over at EMI records has given the go ahead for a record to be released featuring the classical music that apparently inspired the literary monument that is 50 Shades Of Grey. Chosen by the author herself. Probably because these pieces of music have some subliminal message about throbbing thrill hammers or whatever kak it's supposed to be about. Personally, I'd have taken some nice 70s wah-infused disco lite, but I suppose that's like real porn, so isn't appropriate.

At least there are some cool birthdays today. Happy birthday to The Big Cheese and MNL. Hope you both have a day filled with all the things you love!

NGDG: If someone likes you, sleep with their friends. That soon puts an end to that nonsense, in my experience.

Spread The Love. Fuckin' All Fours Tuesday!