Thursday, April 9, 2015


Once, when I was in primary school, I proffered a piece of carbon paper held out on the palm of my hand to an unsuspecting girl a year older than me, telling her it smelled funny and that she too should give it a whiff. Once she got her face close enough I smeared the carbon all over her face and hightailed it as fast as my legs could carry me. She chased me for almost a full lap of the school grounds. I couldn't stop laughing. At that precise point in my life, that was the greatest of my achievements.

On with the body count. I have tried to keep my great big blabbering mouth shut regarding what I consider gross stupidity of the rankest order in this whole statue defacing debacle. Note, I said "tried". I see both the point made by the instigators and the defenders. It's a noble trait I just picked up and I believe it's called adulthood. I'm not sure if I'm altogether comfortable with this new mantle though...
Anyway, I have been mulling it over and just when I decide to pen my considered opinion, this guy goes and writes this. I promise I had every intention of writing something but it all seems pretty pointless now that this guy has so eloquently made my point for me. I even had this picture picked out yesterday and all!

Actually, screw it! Let's remove ALL edifices of white imperialism and replace every single one of them with bronzes of Eddie Murphy. Engraved on the base we could have a speech bubble immortalising the words "Hey! Motherfucker, dick, pussy, snot and shit! Suck my dick! Bye-bye!"

But much like the distasteful backlash of our Afrikaans "singers", this would raise the ire of the prudish proletariat enough to mobilise them into mass crocheted cover ups. Imagine a world where every monument resembled the old Barbie doll spare toilet roll holder. Pretty apt, considering this world is fast sinking down the bog.

You see, the problem with work interfering with my online tomfoolery is that you don't get to physically see the time gaps in the creation of these little disasterpieces. I have now been out of the office for an hour or so fart arsing about with an auditor (sounds like something Harry Potter should wave his little wand at...) and in the meantime new information has come to light. I just read a document in which Mister Cecil J Rhodes was quotes as saying he'd build UCT "Out of the k****s' stomach". Well, fuck everybody!

Fuck Rhodes.
Fuck Steve.
Fuck Sunette.
Fuck the pooh-flinger.

Each and every one of these is guilty of disgusting crimes against humanity.
Actually, humanity is guilty of the same thing.

You all suck!

Spread The Love. Leave Out The Liedjies And The Feces. Although There Isn't A Discernible Difference.

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