Wednesday, November 7, 2012


Yes, I know. I'm a pooh-poohface. I have been neglecting you, my faithful, precious readers. All 9 of you. Well, my absence from my soapbox and the consequent tragic lack of poisoning your minds, violating your eyes and causing general incensed outrage is probably down to one thing. My mom always said "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything..." I was always regarded as a "good child" because I was reasonably quiet. This premise can be translated to why I haven't bothered posting anything since the weekend. Not that I didn't have a rapturously good time for the most part, it's just that I felt a bit kak about something and didn't feel like the rest of the world had any right to know. And this being my own personal whinge scratching-post, I chose to shut up and wallow.

In far more exciting and happy news, this weekend was one of wall-to-wall engagements! Congratulations all round to Commander Conker, who - over the course of a decade has broken the strong willed Rose Thorn and finally made this serene siren succumb to his romantic overtures. She made that high pitched noise on Monday night when she showed off her ring. In any other context that sentence could be taken entirely differently.
And then The Vi-King enchanted Sheik Yerbouti into saying yes when he popped the question. No doubt a huge step and a huge mega-congratulations to all of you!
They weren't the only ones either. One of my dearest friends and her other half, Kung Fu Ken, also made the announcement that they plan on tying the knot. It must be - like my fellow DSWer says - something in the water...

Whatever it is, a whole bunch of my friends have been made very happy, so I'm celebrating. By remaining inebriated all week. Oh, the sacrifices I make...

Anyway, on that note, I get The Hot Girlfriend back on Friday after a very trying series of exams. Just another reason to stay sozzled all week. Time flies when you're sitting at your desk enjoying the dry heaves. And then there's music to keep one otherwise occupied and not pining away for the fjords or accidentally getting nailed to a perch. Tonight I have the odorous task of fighting my way through extra heavy traffic on my way home. Thank you Linkin Park. Not that I dislike them at all. I really got into their first 2 albums - it's just that I believe I may have outgrown them somewhat. That, and I couldn't be arsed to go. I'd much rather spend the evening making my own music. If only the world outside the four walls of my studio knew how good it is...

And then there's the election in America. Sorry Mitt, me old chum, leave the ruling to someone who doesn't crap in his own backyard. It's a far better policy to crap in everyone else's. And all you're proposing is to force the disenfranchised at home to clean up your steaming pile of estate garden poop. Perhaps if you learned to drop a gang sign...

Dylan would be gutted.

The reason China is still staunchly Communist is that flea and fair democratic erections would require more rhino horn.

And - ladies and gentlemen - THIS is why you get to read the daily gems courtesy of one Neal Goldwyer. A scholar. Purportedly a gentleman. More than likely, though, just a demi-deity and sardonic sinner amalgam. Whatever - the man should be heard by the entire world.

NGDG: Dressed in my animal costume, with plastic sheeting on the sofa, waiting for the fireworks. Why? How else do you celebrate Guy Fawkes?

Spread The Love. Pass Me A Fucking Beer.

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