Tuesday, November 13, 2012

THE WORLD HAS GONE TO SHIT.



It is indeed a wonderful day, isn't it friends? I sound like a demented child's TV program host, don't I?
Conjuring up images of Pumpkin Patch should instill in you a horror second to none, not warm feelings of contented , lazy afternoons secure in the knowledge that all is well.

Dramatic sigh. I know.

Speaking of thing that should induce not only dramatic sighs, but an outbreak of projectile vomiting the likes of which have not been seen since the black plague, I asked a child the other day at the cricket "What does YMCMB stand for, since it is so brightly emblazoned all over your clothes?" The tween, chubby, white, comfortable middle class young girl answered with the following:

YMCMB = Young Money, Cash Money Billionaire...

This, coined by a generation that would get a collective aneurysm just trying to spell that, never mind in any way grasp the concept of hard work in order to achieve success. I was quite thrown from my normal bolshy stance on life, and not a little amused. What!?!? Young. Money. Cash. Money. Billionaire. What are they teaching our youth in schools? Oh yes, you're right. They aren't. Except perhaps Sassy Killer Lady - she's probably dropping knowledge like it's, oh I don't know... hot?
Therefore the education of our youth is left to the multitude of platforms from which they derive stimulus in this world. Well, basically the idiot box and the other idiot box. TV and the Internet are shaping our future. Remember, these slack-jawed, barely literate kids will grow up to be the policy makers and our caretakers in our dotage. Can you imagine...
This rabble of brainwashed idiots are being informed by the likes of Lil Wayne and that ghastly fucking Nicky "who or what the fuck IS that" Minaj. Young Money Cash Money Billionaire. MTV Cribs, here we DON'T come. What happened to good, wholesome role models, like Kerry King or Kate Moss?

I despair.

On a far brighter note, and concerning a group of gentlemen that should not only be considered role models, but acolytes of the highest order and fine examples of everything you should be striving to be yourself, and your children one day, Th'DamnedCrows are putting on another stellar performance for you this evening. With the absolutely legendary Dave Ferguson at The Waiting Room. If you haven't yet been blasted away by these ballsy boys, then it's about fucking time. If you have, then why aren't you already camped out in front of the venue, eager for another deadly dose of swamp stomping wreck'n'roll?

And on that note, now that I have your attention, you are uniquely fortunate to be alive. In this day and age. A time that has borne unto us the surreal talent of Shannon Hope - a truly outstanding beacon of light in an otherwise dire darkness. She is performing in and around Cape Town (you lucky little devils, you...) from Wednesday evening to Saturday. Do yourself the favour, nay, the honour, of going to one of her shows and the experience of a life time.

Oh, and Lucy Kruger, the mesmerising Lucy Kruger, was on the telly this morning for those of you that missed it. I didn't. But then, I pay attention. Actually I lie, it was just a happy coincidence I was flicking the channels looking for a weather forecast, when I got this most pleasant surprise. It is a magical way to start a day. You don't have to believe me, but then I know more than you do.

Fun activities for the rest of the day include a light, casual jog with The Hot Girlfriend, a drive out beyond the curtain to fetch a new dining room cabinet, and super awesome dinner. The Hot Girlfriend is on holiday and has decided to devote her time to spoiling me, so I have zero complaints about life right now. Except fucking Young Money Cash Money fucking Billionaire.

And last, by by no means least, today marks the birthday celebration of the weird, wise and wonderful Neal Goldwyer. Is it a funny nick name? Or am I protecting the identity of this keen philosopher, splendid scholar and obtuse observer of the human condition? You'll never know. For sure. Either way, here, to help us wish him the best birthday ever is...
NGDG: And to think that my former disabling of Timeline to save my wonderful friends from tagged sunsets and 'Neal I viewed your profile. Download this Llama' spam wallposts almost deprived me of all your marvellous wishes today. I'm touched. Thank you to each and every one of you. Quick, download this Llama.

Oh, and Tony Ehrenreich can suck my balls.

Spread The Love. In Real Life You Don't Need Emoticons.

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