Thursday, November 29, 2012


Now that I have your attention...

The words above are lyrics by a band called SLAYER, and follow the line "learn the sacred words..."
They do not implore you to sacrifice, mutilate or otherwise make small furry domestic animals suffer. Or any other myriad atrocities perpetrated by mankind in pursuit of wealth or spiritual nirvana.

If you are about to go elsewhere, you are the person to whom I'd like to have a wee chat this afternoon. If you've already left in a self righteous huff, well then fuck you, you are beyond redemption.

They are merely lyrics. Although I will give you this, they are designed to illicit a certain response and, ultimately, sell records.

The reason I bring this very touchy subject up, dear reader, is that the misconceptions of what constitutes evil piss me off and I'd like to air my dirty laundry, if for no other reason than slightly less whiffy undies.
I have been reading and looking at online clips vilifying Lady Gagger (the OTHER name I gave my penis) and other such popular acts by fun loving fundamentalists who use archaic script and dumbfounding logic to put forward their case from the safety of their klooster. They draw comparisons to the most obtuse instances of conspiratorial Illuminati and hidden meanings in lyrics and symbolism. Motherfucker please! Can you imagine they got their hands on a Deicide video? Lady Gagger is not a Satanist. No one affiliated with her is a Satanist. She is merely an entertainer who has been forced to extremes to sell her product. I hate her and every song she has ever recorded, but that's a personal taste thing. She should not be condemned for trying to make a living, no matter how sensationalist she is required to become. And, as much as I can't stand her or her shitty second rate "art", I'd still much rather subject myself to it that anything from Ryna De Beer - Die Fluitende Predekantsvrou. Believe me, this person exists. She whistled an entire album of Calvinist Classics.

I too was subject to such misconception in my youth, and possibly even still today, given the miscreants with whom I share my life. I have lost close friends who failed to understand that tolerance is a cornerstone of co-existence. Back in the glory days before Faeceboobs and app-based home recording, my band was seen in some quarters as the evil anti-Christs of alternative music, because some wet-behind-the-ears pillock didn't have the mental facility to read between some very meaningful lines. (I was listening to one of the songs in question just now, which got me thinking about all this...)

Whatever you choose to believe, or not believe, how about the following simple guidelines:
  1. Remove the log from your own eye before pointing out the splinter in that of another.
  2. For fuck's sake, do not leap at every opportunity to answer/post/comment how fucking amazingly and aggressively progressive you are by pissing on other peoples' beliefs. It demonstrates the exact opposite.
  3. Do not use a religion (any religion) to condone that which it should not.
  4. Respect the beliefs of others, they have spent as much time considering their path as you have.
  5. And lastly, as trite as it sounds, do unto others as you'd have done to you. If you demand respect or understanding, how about showing some first.

The world would be a better place without zealots condemning that which they do not understand - and without holy wars - and without the adolescent rage that comes with being anti-religious.

And in closing. I fucking hope some people are either offended or moved to make a comment. Dialogue is good. You're not at all likely to change the mind of the person opposing you, but common understanding will get us a lot further in this life than pooh flinging. Frank Zappa once said "A mind is like a parachute - it doesn't work if it is not open."

NGDG: Outracing the hail was possibly the most rockstar thing I did today. After vomiting on a hooker in the toilet. [Taken from some time ago]

Spread The Love. There Are No Turtles Left To Burn.


  1. I can't wait to go the Lady Gaga gig... I personally hope she wears her "meat dress" so we can all pick our cut afterwards and have a massive braai - in true South African spirit. And viva rockstars who go overboard in whatever way - dress sense, lyrics, actions. That's what rockstars are supposed to do! Thank goodness I am not one...

  2. Amen. It blows my mind the way people co-opt religion for their own purposes.