TURKEY TALK

Monica the Turkey clearly misread "One in the hand..."

Gobble gobble gobble. Gobble gobble gobble.

Now before you think I've lost the plot altogether, think again. I have a good mate who insists the most terrifying thing he can think of is the world being taken over by turkeys with tanks. I tend to agree with him. Imagine the terror. And the noise! Never mind all you zombie apocalypse amateurs or Lady Gaga naysayers. If there is a terrible way for the world to end, it is at the hands of some pissed off fowl with heavy artillery and a grudge.

Which is why it's ironic that the humble, stupid, vengeful turkey serves (and is served) as a reminder of things for which we as humans should be thankful. I know I'm a little late on my Thanksgiving analysis, but better late than never. I don't actually have much to say about the magical holiday in the USA that is Thanksgiving, but then I rarely have anything of any worth to contribute, as you may well have figured out by now. I wonder how many families sat around their festive and heavily laden tables and uttered "Thanks be to our heinous foreign policies that secure us this ill-gotten lifestyle at the expense of the helpless - both then, and now..." Keep waving your little flag, motherfuckers. It's happened to every other so called empire. It'll happen to you.

My apologies to each and every one of my friends that actually reside States-side. We do not have to share political ideologies. We just have to admit that I'm wonderful.

Anyway, on to whatever pops into my head next (I promise I didn't think of anything when I opened this window and just started typing all socialist and reckless-like...)

Tonight I get to do one of my favourite things of all time. Make music. I happen to think it's exceptionally awesome music as well. One day when you can take a pleasant afternoon guided trip around hell in nice airconditioning, you may just agree with me. But for now we gather in secrecy, behind closed doors, and bash at our instruments in such a rudimentary fashion as to disprove Darwin. And man, is it fun!

Rib injury update: nothing has changed. I'm still grouchy and in pain. These stupid sticky bandages do nothing other than make my chest smell of toothpaste. Although it's hard to say without a frame of reference...

NGDG: Our sun will only likely engulf planet earth in 4 billion years' time. So, go on and plan for 2013. Perhaps consider a moderate to aggressive equity fund, a tattoo, a midget fuckbuddy.

Spread The Love. Turkey Baster Optional.