Tuesday, May 27, 2014


Imagine all the different captions or headings vying for attention as I spotted that picture. The various permutations of "suck"... Or even the tantalisingly obvious "From the horse's mouth"...

Today looks like it's shaping to be one of those days again. My desperate need for validation among my near-peers is eclipsed only by my debilitating inability to give a flying fuck. I have such great schemes and plans and aspirations and they all struggle for breath in the same mucky ennui of a life spent treading water between fun events.
I sometimes have so much on my plate, it's impossible to focus the ever more feeble mind on anything other than staring out into space and hoping it'll all just collectively hike up its skirt and leave me alone. So I can watch and rewatch Big Bang Theory until I'm overgrown with cobwebs.
Or perhaps I should just finish the damn doom album. Let's start with that then, shall we? Without giving too much away, TDB, Rose Thorn and I are a few lines of lyric away from completing the entire album. We even have excess baggage. The current (and second last one to be finished) song is kind of "To All The Girls I Loved Before" but without the optimism. It's a good thing we have a penchant for ridiculously long songs. Anyway, this is what I will be concentrating on for the next 2 days. After that it's sensible underpants time!

Yes, folks, once again the clock strikes 13 and I celebrate another year on this planet. Those near and dear enough to have cracked the nod will know I am celebrating in fine style this year as the apparent milestone warrants extra special fanfare. So between the birthday band practice tomorrow night, the birthday dinner club the next, the Brother-In-Awe's birthday on Friday, my "fabulous" bash on Saturday and having the family over for a day of opulent cuisine and whatnot on Sunday, guess who's going to be absolutely knackered come next week. I don't think they have come up with a strong enough Prohep yet...

I made a wishlist if anyone is interested:

  1. End world hunger, violence, political manipulation and the all-consuming pursuit of power at the expense of all that is good in this world.
  2. Please make the above sentence not make me come off as some sort of tie-dye wearing hippie who lives in a pooh hut.
  3. Please make the music industry the legitimate reflection of talent, passion and authentic artistic genius it once was - even if it means I am therefore marginalised. Oh wait...
  4. Please rewind time and deny 'Achy Breaky Heart's' phenomenal success. This will in turn ensure that the "Face On The Lunchbox" doesn't get to commit this abomination.
  5. The same applies to cheap, self styled prison tattoos and ridiculous leopard print peak caps combined with high pitched whining and the first ironic snor.
  6. Also, I want the motherfucker(s) who saw fit to steal my diving watch and my My Dying Bride hoodie to die in a fire. The sentimental value of these items is beyond calculation.
  7. The winning Lotto numbers that correspond to the correct date and draw. Juan Dei is Juan Dei.
  8. To avoid injury, illness, pestilence, incontinence and halitosis a while longer.
  9. A dog. I'm having real trouble not adopting my dream hound.
  10. And last but most definitely not least: I pray with all my heart that my dear friend Evie makes a full and speedy recovery. We all love and miss you terribly. And Bear, you keep strong and remember we're thinking of you every second of every day. She'll pull through. 

I have everything else in life. Thank you to each and every one of you who know what that means and know who you are.

NGDG: This spinach and mushroom risotto means I've inadvertently supported Meat-free Monday. It's like that Yom Kippur when I caught myself in my zipper.

Spread The Love. As Soon As I Can Afford A Super Sexy Sport Car, I'm Having My Midlife Crisis.

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