Jou Ma Se Ctomy.
Tomorrow is Women's Day. Why only tomorrow? Why don't we celebrate women all year round? I know the answer. Of course, we're commemorating the brave skirted souls who stood up to patriarchal oppression on that day in history.
Nonetheless we should celebrate women all the time. They gave birth to you, and have basically been the focus of your obsession since that first ill-fated game of "you show me yours. I'll show you mine". I remember getting bust, but not as often as I got away with it...
Let's celebrate each and every woman! Except Manto. She can fucking burn in hell for her mass murderous approach to HIV. And Courtney Love. If "gross and sordid" was the second in the degrees of comparison in Sex'n'Drugs'n'Rock&Roll, then she is the undoubted third and final installment. Also, Celine Dion for crimes against humanity, Kim Kardashian for drawing breath, Winnie Mandela for everything, and Noeleen. Oh, and Sarah Fucking Palin. Fuck 'em all.
But to all the other women of the world, the tall, the short, the slim, the overweight, the stylish, the homely, the shy, the adventurous, the mothers, sister and daughters that walk with us through our life journey, here's to you! My sister has often commented that my own very narrow taste is limited to someone with the arse of a 10 year old altar boy and huge gazongas, but I'm saluting you all today. As everyone should, every day.
And particularly to those I hold dear, you know who you are, and why. Love you all - with your eccentric range of foibles. And to "all the girls I've loved before"? Well, I'm proud to say I'm still on very good terms with a lot of them. Songs have been written, in some cases. To the others that done did me wrong... well, songs have been written in some cases. Although they probably wouldn't get it if I gift wrapped the instructions around a brick and made them eat it.
As for The Hot Girlfriend... Well, no words, no gestures, no noble act could ever sufficiently express how I feel about her. So I won't try. At least not on these less than hallowed pages.
And because I'm feeling particularly generous today, I have decided to put together a sampler of the best female vocal based music for your ears and eyes. I hope you enjoy it. I put a lot of thought into this. Well, I haven't yet, I am going to now:
Shannon Hope - Being Brave
Lucy Kruger (feat Andre Leo) - Shudder
Anneke Van Giersbergen and Danny Cavanagh - Leaves
:LOR3L3I: - Leave Me
Croak - Paper Tiger
Terminatryx - Shadow
...and a bonus track by the inimitable Cortina Whilplash
And there you have it.
NGDG: Step 1: Get sexy girl's number. Step 2: stuff. Step 2+n: Get sexy girl.
Spread The Love. No Prodigy Today, Thank You.