Tuesday, April 17, 2012


And now they want to ban any and all alcohol advertising in this wonderful country of ours. Even sponsorship. If ever there was a reason to review my steadfast resolve in staying put, this would be it. What's next? All out prohibition? I think I'll invest in a few stills so long. See Mom, I knew my studies would eventually come in handy!

Although this move is completely retarded (um, government, hallo!...) it also speaks volumes about what the powers that be think of their voting fodder. I for one will continue drinking heavily, perhaps even more so, out of protest, if they censor advertising. Half the ads are lame anyway. Do they really think that curbing liquor companies competing for your weekly wages is the answer? People are gonna get shitfaced anyway. It's ingrained in our culture. From being paid in wine on a Friday, to coping with public speaking Mbeki-style, to making your laaitie go fetch the Ooms another round of Black Labels while the manne stand around the fire and turn the meat far too often, it is a consummately South African tradition. And a birthright I will fight to the death to preserve!

Although not having to stare into the mug of Greame Smith wielding a Castle during every ad break in an ODI would be quite nice...


Oh yes, there's the whole job loss and taxable revenue issue. Dumb arses!

And as I type this I keep thinking maybe it wouldn't be such a bad world if I never got to hear that pseudo-Russian slut telling me about Vawter or seeing a group of men standing with their one leg in the air for no good reason. But then the Heineken ads have always been awesome. Beer ads are misleading anyway, men don't scream like girls when entering a walk in fridge filled with booze. They openly weep on their knees and offer up whispered prayers of thanks to Bacchus. And alcohol-free or low-alcohol beer tastes like piss and defies the purpose. If you're driving, drink juice or something. Otherwise you look like a doos.

NGDG: "Things I heard today that really weren't said: 'I'm going to buy a docking station. Do you want one?' 'I really want a black man on my arm.' Yup, mum was right about the loud metal."

Spread The Love. Keep Walking.

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