This is a very serious situation folks. I am still 2 small, lacy, black g-strings away from the hallowed "panti-gram". And I thought, since I'm playing this great big important gig on Saturday that the situation could be remedied...
But then I was reminded the other day that if I purposely ask for the dainty projectiles, that it kinda defeats the purpose. And unfortunately I agree. There's not much authentic bragging right when one of your friends casually lobs a nice clean pair of knickers in your direction if you've basically coerced them into it just to get you to shut up about it. Obviously it's meant to be from some screaming lunatic groupie that can't contain herself any longer and is suddenly overwhelmed by the urge to walk home the next morning and hope she doesn't have to traverse any open man holes.
[*Please note: It has ceased being funny having 2meter wide cotton bloomers from Ackermans parachute down on me while trying my best not to fuck up a difficult guitar part. You know, when I have my tongue sticking out in concentration...]
So. I am NOT asking for any. I am NOT begging, requesting, cajoling, convincing or otherwise making any sort of suggestion in order to complete the magical "panti-gram"...
Just saying...
It's a bloody good thing this tradition never crossed over to the men. Imagine Piet "Pomp" Pistoors getting motherless and flinging his tidy no-longer-so-whiteys at an unfortunate girl singer, lost in the throes of her own performance. Now I'm not saying I'm ruling it out this weekend... Michelle Breeze is a stunner and Fetish does shit to me... Watch out Mercury!
Never mind that Shannon Hope would be able to start her own Pep Stores with the amount of boxers that would find themselves relinquished to her incredible, beautiful talent. You can catch her at the Fugard next week, but keep your pants in your pants! For goodness sake, man!
NGDG: "If you don't want me to wear my underpants on the outside and spend the day coming up with personal catch-phrases, don't call me a Superuser after training me on the new software system."
Spread The Love. I Didn't Tell You To...
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