Wednesday, August 1, 2012


Today, I feel like this kid...

Yes you heard me. Not in the "I'm all haughty and looking down on mere mortals" kinda way today, although that could very often be taken as the case. Today I'm too damn good for my own good. Every now and then, after persevering with the notion that I am a good person and doing things to help everyone out and avoiding disappointing anyone and generally doing everything in my power to please people, along comes a situation where it is impossible to do so. When 2 opposite factions believe they have the monopoly over your time, effort and kindness. What IS a boy to do when they cannot possibly happen concurrently?

Basically take a long hard eyeball down a double barrelled shotgun and take bets with yourself which eye is gonna go "Kurt Cobain" first. That's pretty much all you can do. Also, situations like this lead you to question paths chosen and their overall worth. It's easy when you're trundling through life and all is hunky dory, but sometimes one has to evaluate which is most important to you, even if you know that choice is going to be of catastrophic consequence to at least one interested party.

Which leads to a feeling of helplessness and no small level of irritation at being made to feel like you're letting someone down. It's having the "taken for granted" table turned the wrong way around. Which sucks ass. And not in the good way...

And speaking of ass, last night I had a delightful dinner with DrHellCuz and his ICP friend. I can honestly say that it was the first time I can recall where I have been at a table in a social environment and I am by a long shot the least qualified person there. Luckily the conversation was mercifully low brow and restricted to the gutter.

At least some of my close friends have the common decency to be having a shitty time of it lately as well, so I don't feel like life is picking on me. Or at least their problems put my relatively first world problem into perspective. It really does help to type about it...


Anyway, it could be worse. I could be an internet photographer. Or own a Trilby.

Also, I have a far more pressing problem. Now that I think of it. Some of my interwebs Faeceboobs friends are actually - against all odds - real friends in real life. Even though they irritate the spamming bejeepers out of me with constant photos, event notifications, lame comments, and/or pictures of cats. I have clicked on the "Unsubscribe from pic/notifications/etc" a million times to no avail. How do I get rid of the clutter on my own little slice of the interwebs without telling them to fuck off directly?

In the immortal word of Zack, in the classic flick 'Zack and Miri make a porno' - and an apt summation of life - when you open the toilet lid to have a look at what's really going on: "There's pooh in there..."

Another man who is a constant source of inspiration and quotable quotes...
NGDG: It's up to me to say it. The best new release this past week was not The Dark Knight Rises (Katyusha rockets & Uzbek prisons aside) but the hilarious Magic Mike. It's 8 Mile meets Pirates Of The Caribbean. In Tampa, which is a very warm place. Where it's just more comfortable to wear seatless chaps.

Spread The Love. Mr Slave Needs It Too.

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