Friday, August 16, 2013

A SIXTH SENSE OF HUMOUR?


This morning Tarty Farty Tequila Party decided to challenge me, and our friend the other popular and opinionated wordsmith TSAR, to a war of words. 6 words or less, actually. We are to come up with ten "Six Word Stories". Unfortunately my initial attempt of "Once upon a time - the end" was dismissed out of hand. Apparently the point is to allude to something having happened or describe an event using innuendo. Or something.
So here, after a few minutes of quiet contemplation over ham and tomato sammitches, are my humble offerings to the gods of prosaic proffering.

1. I hate looking for love.
2. Stopped to smell the roses.
3. Dead leaves fall on open graves.
4. As passion rises, so does man.
5. For wanting affection, she sleeps alone.
6. Went through Hell. Found God.
7. You'll never leave me without hope.

Fuck, this is hard...
8. Lawyer drops case as bar closes.

Um...
9. Counting sheep before shearing season.

And last but by no means least...
10. "Why wait" also refers to vocation.

So all this existentialism got me thinking. Here's a question for all the ultra-Conservative right wing Christians in the world. You have a firmly held belief that every human person on this Earth is descended from one couple. Actually, one couple at the beginning of it all and then one couple AGAIN. This makes us all family. Explain rampant racism. Please. Now don't get me wrong, I am in no way attacking Christians. That would go directly against my strongly held opinions on tolerance and that everyone is singing the same song in a different language, bar some insignificant semantics. I am attacking racists who hide behind doctrine. And I'd like an answer. Any time...

It's Friday. Irreverence is in the air. Can you smell it? For most of you it probably smells like a series of farts trapped in an air tight office, but here where I am it smells like sweet freedom!

Freedom tastes of Old Brown Sherry. It tastes of running around on a football pitch occasionally kicking a ball. It tastes of a night in - watching movies and packing gear. It tastes of deep concentration in the recording studio tomorrow. And then it's going to taste of Slappy's Seasonal Soup Celebration! So long, suckers!

NGDG: The scanner tells me there are no foreign bodies in the sleep pod. Which is lonely, but it takes longer to get to know a foreigner. Especially when you're both anaesthetised with somnolent vapours.

Spread The Love. In Six Words Or Less.

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