CRAPTICAL JOKES

South Africa's youth is fast tracked to stardom!

Wow! Did The Hot Girlfriend and I feast last night! At the expense of my fingertips, which are now burnt. On the plus side, I have historically never missed an opportunity to damage my hands just before a recording session, and I can deal with this level of discomfort. It could have been a lot worse - and if my past is anything to go by, I was expecting something worse. Let's pray.
Anyway, back to topic, I made some food last night that would render Nigella, Gordon and Jamie obsolete in a matter of a few mouthfuls. The result was spectacular and worth all the grunting and swearing while trying to debone a half frozen chicken, something I will never try again. Fuck that.

Anyway, it's been quite a busy ol' day on the intrawbnets. I know I'm supposed to be focused on more productive stuff, but today I've spent most of my time lost in YouTube and suchlike. Nothing much else to report, unfortunately.

Except the quite heartwarming rally to my aid when I posted a plea for help regarding fake blood. Seems the people in my Faeceboobsland are all quite the experts. Disturbing? Not really. Deranged delinquents, one and all!

And I've been purposely staying away from the news after I read quite the most horrific opinion piece on why homework is a kak idea in Souff Effircer. The man was clearly impressed with his new best friend, the Thesaurus. If only he had felt it more prudent to take his own school work more seriously, perhaps he wouldn't have come across as such a halfwit mouth breather. One doesn't need to employ poorly executed verbosity in order to prove one is a fuck up. One can merely say "I'm a fuck up, hey." Or "Hi, my name is Luis Suarez."
With a title like "Set SA kids free!" you'd have thought the focus would be on making the general environment safer from violent crime, getting more kiddy fiddlers behind bars, improving the quality of health care and living standards, maybe even MORE homework! Set SA kids free! Free to enjoy a better quality of life because they are suitably educated to not only live full and productive lives, but to contribute to the upliftment of their communities and this country. But no. Fuck homework. Spelling is clearly already redundant. Your cellphone does hard sums. And we're content with a new tshirt and the chance of some affirmative aerobics every 4 years.

And typically, just as I get the brilliant idea of quoting a "guest star" today, since Neal has been a little on the quiet side (and also because Tarty said the best thing ever this morning...), he comes up with another doozi. But you'll have to wait 'til tomorrow for that. So, as a special treat to all, here is the first (but probably not the last)...

...Tarty Farty Tequila Party's Daily Gem: "Never too early for sausage or beer, dear."

Spread The Love. Sausage And Beer?