Friday, August 2, 2013


Good, clean living leads to eventual success.

Here's the dealio. Infanteria are not my favourite local metal band. I like them, don't get me wrong, I just don't enjoy their brand of thrash above all others, and I prefer my dose of daily deafness to be more dirge-like. That being said, we should all take a moment to GO FUCKING BONKERS at their recent achievement. They were chosen to play Wacken Open Air Festival in Germany and put on a show worthy of much praise. So to each and every person GOING FUCKING BONKERS about The Deftones or Lamb Of God coming to our shores, it works both ways. Here is the perfect opportunity to show your appreciation for the immense amount of talented, hard-working, professional (attitude, not "getting paid") musicians we have right here under our noses. We CAN give as good as we get! Do your bit to help build our local music scene to something that can compete with the industry worldwide. Being based in Europe or the US may make it easier to sustain a career, it doesn't necessarily make you better by default. So go on, go and at least congratulate Infanteria on their phenomenal feat. As a wise man once said, Spread The Love.

Now onto the weird, twisted and spectacularly unsavoury world of evangelical orgasm-haters. I was exposed to a little excerpt from a video, wherein 3 teenage girls from 'Murica are interviewed about their "crusade against cock". Apparently you can get a demon in you through sexual transmission(ary). They go around driving demons out of people who have been sexually abused or just plain ole like to fuck. Does oral sex count? I'd have liked to have experienced someone speaking tongues on my balls (when I was younger, obviously, not now...) Who remembers "Teabagging For Jesus"? Anyway, I am at a loss to describe how fucked up and funny this shit is, so go look for yourself. I would, however, like to point out that I am all for holding onto one's virtue. The youth of today is fucked beyond belief and a little circumspection would not go amiss, but radicals be radicals and that's some fundamentally fucking dangerous shit. One day these fine upstanding young ladies will discover the biblical ecstasy of getting railed good and hard. Let us pray. Let us pray they never find THAT Marduk picture. They'll have ammunition to justify their cause. Oooooh, I think I have to go and find that Jill Kelly scene in 'Forever Night'...

I'll have none of that!

On with the body count... And I do mean actual body count. I was far too knackered yesterday to go running. I think I may have been overdoing it, and much like the little darlings in the paragraph above, I am saving myself for something altogether more ecclesiastically enjoyable. Yup, you guessed it - tonight's football! Anyway, we did have Dinner Club, a bi-weekly celebration of the senses and culinary highlight. We were joined last night by Commander Conker and the ever lovely Rose Thorn, and this morning by our old buddies Debilitating Hangover and Deathgrip Deathwish. It was clearly an awesome evening. Tomorrow its Tarty Farty Tequila Party's turn...

So in summation, on this beautiful Cape Town Friday:

  1. Go say well done to the lads of Infanteria and get out to local gigs more. Clicky, clicky...
  2. Substitute your sinful lust for something in the nice clean Demon Dildo range, lest ye catch some diabolical diseases.
  3. Bring me a fucking Panado and some Re-Hydrate.

NGDG: Tried to take a photo of this very arty Keanu Reeves gallery I was invited to in my dream last night. Of course, I can't take any decent pictures with this piece of shit Samsung.

Spread The Love. Just Don't Have Any Sex.

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