BUTTSEX!

I heart you all.

Ok, it's time to put on your hats of Friday Irreverence and Political Punditry.

Here is a fellow who accused our Prez 4 Lifebouy of being "not well read". No fucking shit, Sherlock! That's like getting up behind a lecturn and informing the gathered masses that bacon is a bit tasty and mildly popular. Or that Milli Vanilli were shit.

Anyone with the merest modicum of common sense can tell just by turning on the news that our county's numbah wahn citizen is not the most erudite of individuals. Shrewd, yes. Learned, not a fuck. Fucking an assortment of wives, unfortunate taxi-fare welfare cases, and a country out of its dignity seem to come naturally enough. Just not presenting himself as someone who has read anything more challenging than Archie. And the speeches, oh, the speeches! Watching and cringing as our spokesperson blunders his way through even the most rudimentary speech. Perhaps the only reason he doesn't flinch at all the lies he so inelegantly spews, is that he doesn't even realise they're there, what with concentrating so hard at making the squiggles on the page into mouth sounds. And before anyone leaps aboard the finger pointing racism bandwagon, a cautionary fuck off, if you please. I despise the man for his lack of leadership ability, his blatant corruption and his unconcealed avarice, not his hue. He'd be a c*nt if he was purple. Oh, and then - if you have the strength - go and read some of the comments. I found Sikelele entertaining. He is what's wrong with this effing country. Him and my good friend, the diehard blowhard Juju, who is once again making waves. Blowhard. Now there's a concept, eh...

Anyway, enough of this. It isn't particularly well written. It doesn't flow very well. And I would like to offer it to a local politician for critique. On with Friday. Here's a helpful hint: The official meaning of TGIF is soon to be amended. Watch this space.

I'm only a few short hours from indulging in my favourite pastime. Then I'm off to play football. I hope the weather this afternoon is slightly better than last week.

Then tomorrow it's off to rehearsal in the forest. We can make lots of noise in the forest. And it's damp...

Next week I may just shit myself with excitement. Oh, man! I can't WAIT to show you all!

NGDG: Someone call Alanis Morissette. It may not rhyme with chardonnay but the fact that a stripper has been arrested for the decomposing corpse found in a car boot at the local casino sure is ironic.

Spread The Love. Unless You're Already In Adult Diapers. They're A Major Turn Off.