Tuesday, January 13, 2015


How astute were the immortal words of Monty Python? I know quite a few people who like to moer each other behind closed doors. Well, not the way that would get you into trouble outside a nightclub in Claremont, just the consensual titillating type which will get you into all sorts of other trouble and, if you're lucky, some restraints... Wicked, bad, naughty, evil Zoot!

Just a little bit of peril, anyone?

As you are no doubt aware, school is about to restart for the year. You can tell by the sudden vanishing of the Vaalies On Harleys from our roads and the fact that you can actually get a reply on an email now. People are back at work and their screaming, spoiled brats are thankfully ushered into various institutions that babysit them until they are old enough to drink and drive.

Colour me cynical. Much has been made of the matric results of late, and I have been watching with the same enthusiasm I usually reserve for banting recipes, but I thought I might share my thoughts on modern day education...

..."Mathematical Literacy" - a subject invented purely so that school leavers who are not quite capable of the daunting specter of linear algebra can one day confidently determine that they have been under tipped.

Clearly language studies have proven entirely superfluous and should be scrapped in favour of "Literacy Literacy", in which you are forced to recite the full meanings of texting abbreviations.

The standard is so low that even OUR Department of Education decided to rename the curriculum and slightly raise the level. This can only mean that rock bottom had been achieved in 2013. I despair for the future of any avenue of life these school "graduates" assault. It's not their fault they don't have textbooks, and in many, many more tragic cases, even access to basic human necessities. But these are the people who are going to decide what happens to the economy at around the time you decide to retire. Perhaps we owe it to ourselves to try and help the poor little devils.

Decent schools cost a LOT of money. Don't waste your time reading this drivel - get back to work! When your progeny finally finishes with 235% because you can afford a quality education and no one else can, you can proudly beam, before running for cover because it's unfair. That is if they make it at all, given the gauntlet of wedgies, being locked in cupboards under stairwells and singing embarrassingly dirty songs. Not to mention the inevitable struggle through puberty and the discovery of what they very mistakenly think is rebellious music.

Ah, I loved school! Imagine being allowed to spend your afternoons playing sport with your mates. And lying through your teeth about your hook ups on the weekend. Mind you I suppose that's entirely different these days, given social media and prolific promiscuity. Perhaps I should re-enroll...

Point? I don't have one. I mean, do you even?

Spread The Love. Back To School Is Cool!

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