Friday, July 25, 2014


A sphincter says "what?"

...leaves you with "shit". As in just plain ol' shit. Not THE shit. Just shit. A term I am inclined to use when describing a certain online retailer today.

So you go online, as you do - tra la la...

You finally find the item your heart desires (or rather the thing you're buying your significant other for their upcoming birthday) after a millionty hours because, you know, you're so fucking special that these things are simply not available at the arse end of Africa.
You gleefully click buy and get almost instantaneous confirmation emails. W√ľnderbar! Shopping made easy.
Then, because a certain online retailer outsources, you get a follow up email informing you that third party retailer does, in fact, not ship to Afrique De Sud. Oh deary deary me. But assurances are given that therefore no transaction has taken place and your account has not been bled dry to the point of containing nothing more that dust.
According to their ever-so-fucking-helpful instruction you amend the shipping address and re-order. This time, however, because you're now pissed off with them, you order only the item for your better half and leave out the impulse buy you had originally included for yourself.
Once again you click buy, having ascertained that, yes, they most definitely ship to Europe and safe in the knowledge that you have organised the gift's safe passage from there, home.

But hark! What yonder fuck up this way stalks!

"We're having trouble processing your transaction, yada, yada, yada..."


On a hunch, you go into your online banking and lo and behold, the original amount sits perched there in the debit column like a belligerent step child goading you with its beady soulless little fucking eyes.

All attempts - all very succinctly laid out in the most detailed explanation - have yet to be met by a response other than "We're having trouble processing your transaction, we're going to try again in a bit, yada, yada, yada..."

Do you know how much the bank charges you when someone attempts to extract money from an account with insufficient funds. There goes my unborn child's fucking college fund.

I need a drink.

See? It's SHIT.

NGDG: Just checking into Facebook for my daily dose of hypocrisy, outrage, and baby pics.

Spread The Love. Shit Just Got Real.

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