Tuesday, July 1, 2014

STRIP MONOPOLY


Or as I like to call it: "Highlights from my holidays."
And there was no stripping involved. But I got you reading, didn't I?

Where to start? Where to start? I did so little in such a long time, I'm really having trouble focusing again now that I'm back online. And to be honest, it took some adjustment to slide back into the abyss. Being free from the cloying, nauseating asphyxia of social media was delightfully refreshing.
But such is life these day... If I stood on Greenmarket Square right now spouting all my spurious gratitude for mankind, no one would listen in real life.

So. I took a few days, The Hot Girlfriend and some boardgames, and we went to Slappy's house in Hermanus. Graced with wonderful weather we did all sorts of touristy exploring by day. We saw the Old Harbour. We saw the entrance to the New Harbour, which is more like the food court in your local mall where you have to pay for parking. We saw the harbour at Gansbaai, which is right next to the camp site my mates and I inhabited on our post school adventure/holiday. Ah, the memories! We had tea and scones in Stanford. We had beach walks and overpriced Gelato. Which, it turns out, is just ice-cream. We played with the adopted HuskyWolf and drank beer at Birkinhead. We tasted and bought wine at Raka. And we braaied. We braaied a lot!
It got cold at night though - which is where the indoor fire came in handy. The first night we found the dodgiest pub in all of the land at which to watch the Netherlands perform their elegant rendition of Swan Lake. The owner kept buying us tequila and the barman had Metallica on repeat.
The rest of the evenings we played boardgames in front of a roaring fire. You may have noticed that I mentioned boardgames twice now...
You see, whilst I was outside slaving over a hot bed of coals, The Hot Girlfriend proceeded to set the scene inside and set up the Monopoly Board. I'd already been drinking heavily, so I have an excuse.
We started to play, and then I noticed we didn't have any property cards. Now, since I inherited this rather dog-eared old game and have never really opened it before, I just assumed it had long since lost some of its components, and McGuyvered a set of cards using torn up bits of egg carton and eyeliner. I have pictorial proof. Only once roughly 20 properties were in circulation and I was down to the fourth or fifth "Community Chest" card did it dawn on me that she had set everything up in the wrong place.
My guffaws weren't well received and she spent the rest of my restful holiday whipping my arse at anything resembling a game.

Oh, and now that you're probably smirking and in a mood to accept suggestive, erm, suggestions...

SUBVERS is tremendously proud, privileged and honoured to be sharing the stage with two other magical acts on the 11th July at Mercury. If you haven't yet experienced the intriguing instrumental bedlam of OHGOD!, then you're in for a treat! And if the celestial sonic sorcery of THE SLEEPERS has somehow managed to escape your attention before now, then you should probably not even consider yourself anything other than a troglodyte. Well, you could consider yourself extremely grateful for me telling you about them right now, and awestruck - which I know you will be after you check out their new video. Add to that the turbulent toxic waltz of SUBVERS, and we have quite the evening planned for you lot!

And now for my daily Rant Ranty McRant Rant: Do NOT get me started on the dire state of the SABC. I think the person misunderstood when they were asked to recruit "analysts" of the beautiful game. Mimicking the flagrant abuse of anything resembling language by the very "analysts" they've hired, they probably googled "analists" and made an unfortunate assumption linked to the word "bicyclists"...

NGDG: I've lost 3kg to this flu. I should start one of those Herbalife pyramid schemes where fat people pay me to cough on them.

Spread The Love. Not The Lurgy.

1 comment:

  1. I have just installed iStripper, so I can watch the hottest virtual strippers stripping on my taskbar.

    ReplyDelete