Friday, December 9, 2011


Heavens NO! Hell YEAH!!!

So far this week I've managed to avoid commenting on the state of our comedy-fodder politics. I present to you the COP17 climate summit. Dignitaries from around the globe congregate in order to spend their vast expense accounts and listen to so-called experts bleat about a meteorological phenomenon no-one can realistically do anything about. Then resolve to do everything about it until next week, when we're back to our loot 'n' burn methods. Our president Zuma, he of the shower/taxi/Lifebouy Zapiro cartoon attacks, was magnanimous enough to engage with some environmentalists activists, who promptly got moered for asking the wrong questions. Or pointing out the obvious flaws in whatever hair brained resolution had been reached. I got bored and stopped reading. The point is it's kak PR to allow the world's press to televise a bunch of para-military thugs putting the boot into a bunch of treehugging hippy crap. Surely the art of diplomacy has taught us to do our dirty deeds behind closed doors. Or have the powers that be just become that blase? And don't get me wrong, I'm all for the environment, I recycle and have a herb garden. It's just that these political schmooze-fests never achieve anything except to annoy everyone. Good intentions. Road to hell. All that. Wankers.

And whilst I'm on a bit of a rant, let's bring up the astonishing state of "service delivery" in our fair land. And I'm not talking about the type of service delivery - or lack thereof - that leads to projectile bricks, burning barricades of tyres (particularly good for the environment), or hopping up and down ululating. I am not in a position to comment because thankfully I do not share these hardships. My gripe is with the shocking level of service in shopping malls. Seeing that it's that time of year we commemorate the greed of the commerce sector, I recently found myself in a boutique shop in a mall. I had struggled to find what I was looking for until the kind lady in the shop offered to manufacture it for me. We'd discussed design and agreed upon a price, and I left very chuffed with the whole situation. After 3 weeks of calling to see when the damn things would be ready for collection I finally got the go ahead to pick them up. Super stoked with the outcome and totally amped to be able to give this amazing gift to someone, I was disgusted to find the price had increased. I queried this and was told bluntly that was what I'd been quoted so take it or leave it. Needless to say they didn't make their sale. The problem I have is twofold. Firstly I come off as some pauper that can't afford to just shrug off the added expense. This, for the record, is not true. Secondly, if this sort of dodgy business ethic is tolerated, it will simply continue. Strike me down for standing up for the principle. What sucks is that I've pretty much cut off my nose to spite my own face and I'm fucking disappointed because the product was so amazing. Still...

So now I'm thoroughly dejected and down. And I have to start the whole ugly process over. Maybe a bit of Elmer Fudd will cheer me up. Here he is with Wabbit SLAYER.

And on that golden note, enjoy your weekends everyone. Remember to avoid drinking at all costs if there's a chance you have to drive anywhere. The price of a taxi is a mere fraction of the cost of legal bills to avoid the Polsmoor Lovefest. The therapy if the legal assistance doesn't work is even more costly and never entirely effective.

There will be roadblocks. There is a zero tolerance stance being adopted. Do not take any chances.

NGDG: "Tonight we're going to drink so hard that all the hard-drinking, hell-fighting gods of history will fall from the sky like effervescent tablets in a watery dusk, leaving only flecks of mud that we'll wipe from our upturned hysterical faces."

Thank you Master Goldwyer! Good Fellas is gonna make a fortune this weekend.

Spread The Love. Show Me Yours And I'll Show You Mine.

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