Wednesday, December 14, 2011


Pic courtesy Rory Molyneux

As if the unnecessary killing of her compatriot wasn't enough of a deterrent (and I do agree with the harshest possible treatment of legitimate drug smugglers, as opposed to unsuspecting mules), some fucking toffee was just bust smuggling cocaine into Thailand IN HER HAIR. 1,5kg of the wonderdust was found woven into this numbskull's dreadlocks. Apparently suspicions were raised when she freaked out after a customs official queried her about her chronic dandruff or something. Whilst one must applaud her ingenuity, she is knowingly carrying an illegal substance across international borders - a substance which has been proven to end up killing the user eventually - after turning then into raggedy toilet explorers.
The poor woman who was executed, on the other hand, had her bounty of illegal snort sauce found in her luggage. Now, unless it was her hand luggage, she had a good point (or at least an arguable defence) when she said "Wuddn't me..." Surely baggage handlers should at least be included in the investigation as suspects.

Which brings me to my question. Drugs are piss easy to make. Any turnip who knows the meaning of the magic litmus paper, or who has ever turned a pool a sinister hue of purple, can make something that'll alter your reality. Follow recipe, cook in glass flasks and add paranoid evil chuckle to taste. Voila!

Why then is there such a booming trade in international smuggling? Is it the exchange rates? Or are the countries with high demand too fucked up on the product to make their own? Surely this should present itself as a viable entrepreneurial opportunity in our cash strapped society? Just saying...

I do not condone the use of illegal draks. Usually drinking vast quantities of booze does the trick. It also doubles as a social lubricant, since I'm no fun when sober. Like most people. For empirical proof, compare the second half of any evening out with the first half.

And speaking of evenings out and being liberally obliterated, the band line-up for Metal4Africa's Summerfest has been made public. Go check it out and make sure you diarise this kiefbrutalepicawesome event. Do not miss out!

NGDG: "I sometimes feel sad the dude is still working at the CD shop but when he says 'you still buying Tom Waits, man?' you know that the service industry is built on folk who remember your tastes and must never leave when they entertain you with bon mots such as 'man, series are like Afrikaans CDs - I can't keep up with that stuff.' "

Spread The Love. Not The Draks.


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