Tuesday, December 13, 2011


Everything's coming to a grinding halt. The year - as predicted - has slowed to a snail's pace here in the Mother City. Even more so than usual. Even when the local municipal workers are on a "go even slower" strike. Actually I've noticed that their strikes involve considerably more physical exertion than their everyday working days, what with all that turning rubbish bins out and hopping up and down holding packing cardboard emblazoned with slogan written en Parker ballpoint. It's a good thing no one can actually read them, because the spelling and grammar are usually awkward and atrocious.

Where was I? Oh yes, the year is winding down and with it, my will to accomplish anything of value has dissipated entirely. I can only just manage a half hearted attempt at making it through the day, wishing that the Christmas break was already upon us, so that I can slump into my favourite cricket watching position - completely reclined with a steady supply of beer. With any luck I can convince my girlfriend that this is indeed perfectly acceptable behaviour for our few hours together, her having to work being taken into consideration.

I'm probably being ambitious hoping she'll be bringing the beers at regular intervals as well...

The other thing that screeched actually gave me a pang of delight this morning. On my way to work a black Mini Cooper full of kids resembling the audience at a Locnville performance blasted past me in traffic just as I was aiming to change lanes. This resulted in them being the last car through the traffic lights leaving me to wait my turn (that 2 minutes was very likely to make the difference between late and on time for work). Upon finally getting my turn and proceeding to the next light, there they were, smashed into some ignorant tit that was in the wrong place at the wrong time in the wrong car (it looked like a red Astra or something), smoke billowing from the engine compartment of the Mini and the hooter stuck loudly. I zipped passed this mess and like every responsible citizen made sure everyone was still alive with a cursory glance, more so to avoid that pesky CPR rubbish you're going to get sued over anyway, than out of genuine concern. I then allowed myself a muttered "fokken laaities..." with some smug satisfaction.

Last night's band braai was fun. There may have been a bit of booze involved. Actually, everyone else was stone cold sober, but I'm in "festive mode" and it's like my own private year end function (this time of year, not necessarily just last night). The result was left over braai-broodjies for lunch today. Literally the best thing ever. Besides leftover pizza for lunch. Obviously.

At least I've kept up the tradition of using the internet to keep you all informed of what I had for lunch.

NGDG: "Lethal injection on a budget? Leave the condoms IN the stomach."

Spread The Love. Just Keep It Under Wraps.

No comments:

Post a Comment