INTERSTELLAR FOUR-ARSED MONKEYS...

...have nothing whatsoever to do with the contents of what is more than likely coming after this sentence. Like when the crime doesn't fit the punishment. Like when kids are banished to their rooms for refusing to eat their peas and their rooms look like a convention exhibition for the electronic entertainment industry.

So yesterday it was Valentine's Day. It started off well enough. Paradise Lost very lovingly gave me the gift of music - they graciously, lovingly and generously allowed a download of their new single 'Crucify' from their upcoming album 'Tragic Idol'. Because they love ME. And YOU. Click on the song - it'll take you to the link.

So it was to the perfect soundtrack that I went about preparing the meal to end all meals. Not the Last Supper - way more larney than that. Try this on for size:

Starters were some fancy shit with blue cheese, home grown tomato and basil.

Mains was some fancy shit with chicken, feta and green fig preserve. Accompanied by equally fancy shit like garlic baby potatoes, 'n' lardi-da veg 'n' shit.

It was a spectacular success! Especially along with the champers, wine and the Hot Girlfriend.

So all in all, a wonderful Hallmark Holiday, capped by my neighbour knocking on my front door at 3 in the morning. Now I know what you're thinking... Alas, it wasn't loud throes of passion and raucous ruckus earning us a door knock. No - it was my neighbour informing me of my new found lack of electricity. Some little fucking tik addict shit had cut the overhead wires feeding electricity into four houses. For scrap copper. For enough money for a hit of tik. Then the cops came out and stood around like tits and I went back to sleep drowsily wondering why my lights were still operational.

By this morning I'd worked out that they had left the "live" wire intact and was as pleased as punch to be able to have a hot shower, coffee and food that was being kept cold in the fridge. It was only after my near fatal shock in the shower (THAT would have been tough to explain to paramedics) that I figured that nothing in the house was earthed. And I was blithely using everything. So I unplugged every single thing except the fridge and came to work so that I could endure the monumenstrual hangover from hell. I feel almost like I've been to quiz night.

Anyway. Tonight normal service resumes. With any luck the council will have reconnected our electricity supply and I will be able to have band practice without having to resort to using "grandpa's guitars". Which would be totally "dildos".

NGDG: "The time for bed's an hour past / but there's still ice in the whiskey glass. Pour a double, save the earth / postpone sleep for malt is mirth.

Spread The Love. Burn An X In Your Head.