WHY DOES AN ARROW-FIRING ANGEL NOT SCARE THE CRAP OUT OF YOU SINNERS?

Image courtesy of Occupy Bacon

Today is set aside specially for us to celebrate the attraction, love or lust we have for that someone special. Depending on your level of depravity and/or smitten-ness, it is something most people look forward to because it highlights the fact that we have the capacity to feel something other than despair and disillusionment. It also keeps Cardies and CNA in the red for the rest of the year. (See what I did there?)

Personally, I schmaak the fuck out of it. I'm making extra special dinner for my lady tonight and we'll be washing it down with champers and fancy wine. It's almost as wonderful as Steak'n'Blowjob day, which happens a month from now. For the unlucky. Those that don't celebrate it EVERY day.

I found myself wondering what I had to say last year this time, as I was profoundly single and still smarting from a run in with a potential suitorette (see Mall Rats). So I went looking. Nothing! Not a word. Apparently I was avoiding the public. What a big girl's blouse. If only we were capable of realising that things actually DO get better. And they do! Kyk hoe lyk hy nou!

Also, do yourself a favour and go and check out this "aaawwwwww"some blog by my good buddy and fellow intrepid blog-o-naut, Barrulus. It's all about first kisses. It's a place to tell the story of your first experience passionately pressing your lips to that of some equally spotty, awkward youth - and in the sickeningly sweet spirit of today - go and get your "aaaawwwww" on. Perhaps I should start a blog about peoples' first experience with actual real sex. With another consenting person. Can you imagine the hilarity if people were actually honest. "You got a shoe horn, baby?" or "No! Wrong hole!" The limb-twisting, contorted-faced possibilities are endless...

Oh wait a minute. I remember seeing a movie called 'Filthy First Timers' once. Or twice. Damn! Why do I always have to be the one that thinks up the good ideas too late...

NGDG: "I finally found a pair of jeans that fit my warped disproportionate lower half. But my upper-half refuses to shell out R2499 for them."

Spread The Love. Using Saccharine Pink And Red Symbols To Convey Your Everlasting Affection.