Monday, May 14, 2012

I CHOKED LINDA LOVELACE...



Well, not really. I haven't even seen 'Deepthroat'. Yet.

And to think! I had all these amazing titles just lined up for my glorious return to the land of the intrawebnets. Something about sitting chained behind a desk and in front of a computer somehow immediately sucked the urgency and virility out of my thought processes. Back to life, back to reality, back to the ever-mundane trudge through the mire of working class life. Eh.

So I could probably spend the rest of the day typing all about how glorious my leave was and all the wonderful things that I did. Truth is I (typically) waited until there wasn't anything urgent pending and then gave in to the ever-present impending lurgy. Nothing like spending the first week of your vacation on your back. Stricken with flu, not Asian hookers...

Love you long time! How the FUCK have you all been?!?!?!

I did get to do a few cool things, though. My buddy from the UK was down with the wife and kid, so we braaied. A lot. We also took in a few wine farms. I'm sure I'm not the first to make the following observation, but there is something decadently enjoyable about mooching from one wine tasting to the next while the rest of the world keeps the cogs grinding at their respective places of employment/slavery.

I also managed to do some of the renovation I had so carefully mapped out and planned for. Naturally, the snags that I hadn't foreseen caused the lot of it only to be completed about halfway, but the one half ot the kitchen looks AWESOME! And the roof beams that are lying in the unfinished half, drying under Woodoc are also pretty cool. I have, however, had to sacrifice my dining room to the gods of surplus storage space. And since I have yet to install that cabinet in the kitchen that houses the drawers, the cutlery is a daily short trip beyond various boxes, some chairs and a cabinet. Now that I write it out like that, perhaps it is a little silly/lazy. Maybe I'll bring it out and stash it temporarily in a cupboard.

Yes, lots to report and much over which to muse, but much like other peoples' vacation photos, not much of any particular interest to you, my dear devotees. Suffice it to say I am physically broken from the partying and self imposed slave labour, but spiritually rested and mentally as spry as an old man that's just realised his pecker still works in the old age home.

Which brings us neatly to the plans for the next while. You'll never guess. Lots of band rehearsals. Thank goodness I'm so kak everytime is like a new experience, trying to remember how songs go.

All jokes aside, this morning was pure, festering, evil murder. Try spending three weeks surfacing at roughly lunchtime and then set your alarm for dawn. To make it up to myself for this unwarranted punishment I may have to mollify myself with a bit of wine this evening. Tomorrow morning's episode is already off to a corking fuck up. See a pattern?

Anyway, I've missed you. I've missed how you allow me to stain the sheets of your personal intrawebnets with my only very vaguely entertaining nonsense. And I especially appreciate the sentiments poured forth by around 3 of you saying that you'd missed these here little soap box wankathons. Thank you! I shall do my best to continue lubricating the nipples of progress, pleasure and Puritanism.

Let's go and have a quick nose at what our resident philosiphizerer has to offer us on this fine day.
NGDG: "I'd rather have Parkinson's than Alzheimer's. It's better to spill half your beer than to forget completely where the fuck you put it."

Spread The Love. All You Need Is...

 4 Long Life Batteries!

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