ROBBEN 'HOODS

So today I have to submit my Income Tax Return to the South African Revenue Service. The tax collector was one of the most hated characters as far back as 2000 years ago and probably well beyond. One rogue crept into our hearts by stealing from the rich and redistributing the wealth among the poor. I have no issue with contributing to the society in which I live or even to help in the betterment of those less fortunate. I, like so many other honest tax payers though, question the wholehearted honesty and supposed transparency regarding the use of our tax rands. The poor stay poor, the rich get rich. It is with a begrudging sense of getting royally fucked over that I hand over an extortionate proportion of my monthly income to the bandits in charge.

Goes to show, if you dress up your shitty ineptitude or raging greed in a nice suit (let's not be sexist here, you can also dress it up in a very ostentatious, bright, gaudy, ill-fitting dress and hat combo), people tend to go along with the charade. But the minute you don the green tights you're branded an outlaw and a brigand.

But I digress. The aim of this missive was actually to say nice things. I LOVE efiling. It has made my life infinitely easier and the dreaded act of submitting my Tax Return far simpler and, dare I say it, even convenient... The level of civilisation in a country can not only be measured by the standard of its prisons or the way the people treat their animals (in both cases we're screwed) but by how painless the government makes it for us to give them all our money. One out of three ain't bad.

I'm actually procrastinating now. I should log in using the awesome porn star password SARS allowed me to use and just get it over with. Yet even though the process has now become easier than taking candy from a baby, I still hesitate. Why? Perhaps it's my intense loathing of admin.

Anyway, in an astonishing development, I have sweet fuck all else to report.

NGDG: "I'm not famous, but if I were and was approached by the Chinese factory responsible for manufacturing this kiddies' butterfly-catching net, I'd gladly endorse it for its unrivalled superiority in catch-and-release Parktown Prawn problem resolution technology. My nerves this season are saved!"

Spread The Love. Redistribute The Wealth. Because You NEED A New Bulletproof Beemer.