TECHNO-TARD

No offence to the Special Olympics participants. This is about me, not you. Me. The one sitting here with an incongruous grin on his face singing "No, no! No, no, no, no! No, no, no, no! No, no, no more techno!!!" A lovely little hit by Cape Town's beloved Lithium back in the day. Come on, you know the words!

It actually refers to how unsavvy I am when it comes to technologically progressive, well, anything. Like our new irksome app of the day. The "Dislike" button on FaeceBoobs. I consider the vast majority of my "friends" to be either well chosen or having been around long enough to properly qualify. What I didn't count on was the avalanche of people I know actually asking me to go and approve this app. What, were they giving away free toasters or something? Did the millionth app-hitter-on-lemme-have-it-er get a blowjob from Megan Fox? (Please note - the reference to Megan Fox is completely arbitrary and she would first have to sign a "no thumbs" waiver.)

All this resulted in someone I know chirping from the peanut gallery that it's entirely possible to "block" apps. Now I have spent some time trying to find a thingy anywhere that says "BLOCK APP" to no avail. Am I that techno-tarded? Ok, given, I can't even use my own guitar effects unit and don't even ask me to rewire Reason into Acid Pro, but I can put wires into big sound systems and make them make noises. Is it because life is virtually virtual these days? Probably. Tangible went out of fashion long ago. It's not so easy to get rid of, upgrade or ignore.

We're all going to end up being incapable of walking because our limbs have atrophied, like in Wall-e.

So I'm going for a run after work. Thank goodness the sun is out. Otherwise my fragile conviction would melt.

Today also marks the introduction of the "D'aaaaaw-Win" Awards here on the Mysteriously Malodorous Musings Of The Monster Thingy. And it is little wonder that the inaugural "D'aaaaaw-Win" Award goes to the Meyodies! Congrats to the Meyer Of Awesomeville and his Better Half. That. Tat... That's the shit!!!

In other news, I made up a rude word today. Well, I was asked to come up with something suggestive/x-rated and VOILA! a new word is born. "Asumo-wrap" referring to the rather compromised position a young lady might find herself in if she...

...Ha! You thought I was going to tell you?

NGDG: "I care deeply about the issue of deforestation. Especially deeply at times when people ask me to print something out for them."

Spread The Love. Asumo-wrap. It IS A Thing.