Thursday, June 20, 2013
KEEP CALM AND ON YOUR KNEES.
Well, there you have it then...
After exhausting my supply of news in one super-post yesterday, prepare yourself for all manner of nonsense and ear bleeds today.
I recently rediscovered 'Superbad'. It's a movie. It's as funny as hell and I do not apologise to any of my more learned friends or siblings for my appreciation of its crass humour. Especially the part where the fat kid with the afro gets tomato sauce on his leg.
Dooswyn is from now on to be referred to as Cardbordeaux. It is brilliant! It has been decreed. Thanks, New Orleans!
In the only pertinent news of the day - tah tah dah daaaaaah! - the latest D'aaaaw-Win Award goes to LordDoom and Princess Pants. Their incessant cooing has won them the latest instalment (it's only the second of all time, I think) of the much venerated award. Congrats, you two. Bask in the warm glowing warming glow.
And then we get to marketing focus groups. I love 'em. The person who convinced marketing companies to part with vast sums of money so that "demographically selected" groups of civilians can sit and nod, while being fed snacks, should run the world. Now that is marketing genius! Last night I made money simply for showing up, eating food, and telling someone in a smarmy suit and a false smile I couldn't afford his whisky. Oh, and being white and a drinker and the right age. And apparently because I own a dishwasher. Weirdos...
And tonight I once again swan about pretending to be larney when I join Tarty Farty Tequila Party on her quest for the perfect Winter Warmer Soup Experience. It happens to be at one of my all time favourite restaurants, so things are already off to a good start. It's attached to quite a fancy whisky bar as well. I'm quite certain the possibilities are endless. And that The Doors never get played there.
Speaking of Swans. Little Spoon! Fuck you! I looked up the line up for Hellfest. Good luck bumping into all those metal heads with your gigantic perma-boner. I should really have paid more attention when you were wittering on about going to France. I hope there are timing conflicts between your favourite bands, playing on different stages at the same time, and your head explodes. Nah! Actually I'm just super jealous. Hope you get to see everyone you want to see and have an awesome time! Le chat et sur le table.
Which brings me to more frustrating and irritating news. The cd I ordered for the Brother-In-Awe has finally arrived. Customs is holding the package hostage. Shitgarglers.
As always, it's been a huge pleasure.
NGDG: It's in the beast's instinct to chase. That being said, I discovered today that it's in your instinct either to outrun the rottweiler or find out if your medical scheme is the right one for you.
Spread The Love. With Atta-Girl Knee-Pads.