Monday, July 1, 2013

NOT ENOUGH PLUTZING!

NOW I get the song...!

For once I have nothing to moan about, fling my opinion at, or poke light hearted yet amusingly caustic fun at. Do you know the one about Van who was in England on holiday?

Walks straight up to a bobby and asks him in his best broken Oranje English "Excuse me, man. Do you know where Big Ben is at?"
To which the bobby rather haughtily replies "Sir. One does not end a sentence on a preposition."
Van mulls this over in his head for a little while and then asks the bobby again "Ok, man. Where is Big Ben at, Poes?"

My apologies for the level of profanity so early in the week, but the joke doesn't work any other way.

And now that I am well on my way into this blog post, by the smoke and mirror trickery of all of the above, let's see... what's been going on in the land of Nod? Pretty much fuck all, lemme tell you. Other than redefining popular South African cuisine on Friday night when I made a totally kick-ass stove-top potjie. Or as you could argue, a cast iron pot stew. Either way, I was well chuffed with myself, especially since the result was spectacular. I'd post a recipe, but I can't remember very accurately...

Saturday made me rethink this whole living-in-the-urbs agenda. We visited some friends of The Hot Girlfriend for a braai out in the sticks. What an absolute pleasure. Small holding sized grounds and a charmingly obedient Doberman, not to mention some awesome company and a fucking amazing braai, combined to make a wonderful evening replete with a feeling of majestic isolation from the hustle and bustle. Then it was directly off to Roxy's in Town for JDP's birthday party, which we missed by 5 minutes. I didn't feel that bad when I spied with my little eyes one Tarty Farty Tequila Party emerging from her car at the same time...
Then I saw one of my old friends from when I successfully emulated student life. Even with far less product in his hair than acceptable, I still recognised him and we had a blast catching up.

If there was a prize for laziness and remaining motionless and awake for the longest period of time, myself and The Hot Girlfriend would have gotten second place yesterday. (The undisputed miffing champion of the world is our very own Tieta.) What a glorious achievement! We did absolutely fuck all! It was wonderful.

In international news, Obama is here. I even saw helicopters. So fucking what?!?! South Africa harbours and nurtures mass murdering motherfuckers all the time. Big deal. Yes... We... Can!

Oh yes, and in far more important news, the ruse to surprise Princess Pants with an unexpected visit from LordDoom went down a treat. If you count staggering awe, barely able to breathe, a variety of tears and beating one's boyfriend on the chest in a sort of Tarzan-Jane reversal of dynamic "successful"...
Either way, well done to TSAR and ASH, well done!

Aaaaaaand - HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY to Sheik Yerbouti for yesterday!

NGDG: Sometimes I think I'd like to go back to study. Times like when I'm told there's a really slutty midget on campus at my alma mater.

Spread The Love. Fifty Shades Of Grey Matter.

1 comment:

  1. Indeed, TSAR and ASH, LD, You, everyone else who was in on the conspiracy to make me wee my pants and die of shock.

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