No, you dirty, dirty, filthy minded (wonderfully intelligent and beautiful) people, you!
On any other, more ordinary day, you could be forgiven for assuming I was about to launch into a metaphor-strewn piece about the tight fit of the screw, and heaven knows, after yesterday's shitfest, you would be forgiven. But today I have a serious agenda.
Well, as serious (and as specific) as I am prone to getting.
In this short life we are given, does it not strike you as NUTS that so many of us shun the wonderful opportunities that present themselves. Please do not read "he's a filthy hippy and he smells of dung so let's bugger off and leave him to his hemp ornaments" - instead think for one moment of how many times you could have, and should have, told that special someone how you really feel about them, instead of justifying your basic cowardice by overrationalising. Or how many times you've chosen to ignore the plight of others when a simple gesture of good will could have made such a massive difference. Or how about letting the chance to be part of something special slip through your fingers because you're too lazy or stupid to see the possibilities... Or get involved.
So much of our time is spent reinforcing our comfort zones, we are barely capable of the excitement which makes life worth living. We sit and condemn cruelty and politics and greed from the luxury of our office chairs, tucked away on the safe side of the computer screen. We even pooh-pooh those that try and make a difference (spamming aside).
And then we act surprised, hurt and victimised when the object of our desire or affection, the opportunity to do some good or the chance to effect real change BOLTS right out of your life like a bat out of hell. A bat in a particular hurry to get the fuck away from a particularly shitty hell.
It is however, the complete lack of awareness in the slack-jawed masses that most fascinates me. People continue on their zombie-like assault on daily living with glass-eyed ignorance and persist in shifting the blame for their shortcoming or refusing to take responsibility for their failings. It is only the admirable few with the courage of their convictions that actually achieve their goals, or at the very least try and sometimes fail. And then inevitably bare the brunt of the ire and jealousy of the unwashed masses.
To all the ostriches and the mindnumbingly myopic, and in a further attempt to flood the world with as much truth from the mouth of Robert Smith as possible: "It's a big, bright, beautiful world out there... Just the other side of the door."
[*Disclaimer: it is the sole prerogative of the author - in many cases in life - NOT to follow their own advice.]
NGDG: "I found a styrofoam container of gnawed chicken bones under my parked car. And since I take everything personally, I will jot it down as yet another reason I'll be ecstatic to leave the squalid filthpot called the CBD or Lenkhukhu Mlungu or whatever this 4th-placer in the Let's Choose A National Capital Raffle calls itself."
Spread The Love. Quickly. Those Who Hesitate Are Lost.