Friday, August 19, 2011


Tonight, I'm feeding on some animal!

In our continued quest to bring Robert Smith into your computer, the real aficionados would get that reference.

It's also a reference to the wunderpotjie being brewed for my consumption this evening. Bubble, bubble, broil and um, bubble? Anyone?

Ok, the real reason we are convening tonight is to initiate the plans for an event tentatively called 'Tutus n Tiaras', which is loosely based on my recent making an arse of myself in public for monetary compensation. Apparently seeing the calamitous limb-flailing dance of catastrophic awkwardness led to some discussion about doing it en masse in order to raise funds for animal welfare. And since I already do animal welfare, I thought this was a particularly good idea.

We will keep you informed. But make an arse of yourself you will. It's worth a million loving licks in the face! And if you're not into being slobbered upon, you're probably lying to yourself. Still, you can always spectate and support.

So last night's gastonom-nom-nomic extravaganza was a roaring success. According to the guests, who for some strange reason all buggered off directly after finishing their meal. I tell you one thing. I think I won the Martha Stewart Gold-Braid Epaulettes of Kitchen Efficiency last night. Either that or I'm going to buy some gold spray paint and convert a wooden spoon into some form of trophy. I'm even thinking of taking my carnival of culinary creativity to the Biscuit Mall soon. See how those fuckers deal with "surprises" that early on a Saturday morning. Fucking suburbanite yuppie wannabe tofu-wine wankers...

Anyway, in the spirit of IRREVERENCE on this, another wonderfully IRREVERENT FRIDAY, I wish every single one of you a splendid weekend, a happy sexy-time and the mother of all hangovers on Saturday AND Sunday morning. Tomorrow night I go to experience, not just watch, the greatest band in our fair land storm the parapets of our minds, hearts and souls once more. Yes, this is your final reminder that the lyrical, majestic Sleepers are going to devour you whole at Mercury Live tomorrow night. Eargasms of the highest order!

NGDG: "If I could be an ugly famous person, I'd more then likely opt for Vince Neil over Warren Buffet."

Spread The Love. The Love, The Love, The Love Is On Fire. We Don't Need No Lube...

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