THE BITCH IS BACK!

No! Don't be nasty. We've already established that exes are all wonderful, witty, warm and welcoming people. I am of course, referring to the sudden re-emergence of Martha.

Tonight's band practice has been cancelled.
This gives me a chance to clean up the mountain of empty booze bottles and empty glasses and overflowing ashtrays.

Also, the dining room needs to be converted back from its current state as a guitar workshop.
Also, I've all but depleted the stockpile of frozen leftovers, so will have to cook something awesome tonight.

*Tah! Daaaaaah* And Martha Stewart once again leaps into the limelight!

I'm quite looking forward to rediscovering the original colour of the floors...

Also, today and tomorrow are very important days on the calender of every year. Today, being the last day of August, heralds the last day of transfer activity in the international football market. Which means the rumour mills can just stop for a while and we can get on unhindered with the important business of hating our friends for their support of a rival team not one of us has any real affiliation with.

Uh oh! Ended a sentence on a preposition. Good thing Mother Dear doesn't read this here blog, she'd have a fit. That reminds me of this joke. Van walks around in London and goes up to a Bobby asking "Where am Big Ben at?" You should be able to figure out the rest...

And tomorrow is the Save The Rhino By Wearing Black Day. Whilst I am all for raising awareness, especially in a case where such vile butchery is being perpetrated on innocents, I fail to see how wearing black is going to do much. A friend of mine, let's call him Lord Doom (he's gonna love me for that) had this to say on the matter: "Fair enough. I do find that 'awareness' is a word thrown about way too liberally these days. Plenty of people are 'aware' of things like domestic abuse, but wouldn't have the balls to actually intervene were they to come across an incident."

I agree, if you are so concerned, donate cash towards a fund. Or something equally proactive. The goths have a bad enough name as it is, without you further besmirching their choice of clothing colour.

Says he, who wears predominantly black anyway. It's slimming, don't you know. Many years ago, in fact, we instituted Wear Only Black Day on Valentine's Day and the Spring Day anyway. So whela! Luckily I've grown up a bit. I now embrace romance and the great outdoors. And the gospel according to Martha...

Speaking of, today's gospel according to Saint Smith:

Book 10 : Chapter 5 : Verse 30 - 32

Anyway, pressing merrily on. Today I am a day closer to retirement, and so are you! Reason enough to celebrate methinks!

NGDG: "Neal Goldwyer just answered a question about you. The question is: do you think that people who click on spam are fucktards? The answer: Undeniably."

Stole the words right out of my... um... from my fingertips?

Spread The Love. Just Don't For Fuck's Sake Rely On Rhino Horn. Fucking Limp Dick Rejects.