Tuesday, September 20, 2011


Today we get random, yet not random. Yesterday's post was so filled with vitriol and personal shit, I decided to leave it unpublished. It's still lurking, waiting, in the shadows. Like you do. Like that someone or something that follows you on the subway. Subway make heroes. That's a sammitch. It all ties up.

It'll make sense in a bit.

But I really was a hero. In my mind...

So without going into the details of why exactly yesterday was post free, let's recap what went down this weekend. The "Cheerleaders" came over on Friday night and brought with them 2 of the 3 B's that constitute the ultimate happiness, Burgers and Beers. My night was indeed cheery, especially since our Mexican friend made a turn as well. Inevitable when Tarty Farty Tequila Party And Celebrity Writer is in the house. Thanks.

Saturday was spent getting a bunch of new guitar goodies from the good people at Paul Bothners. They really go out of their way to look after me - you guys rock!

Anyway, thanks to my lovely sponsors at Paul Bothners, I will be playing a beautiful brand new Jackson on Saturday. Please do come and see how I pretend to be an "axe" murderer. It's my first full length show in 4 years. Panties of the petite'n'pointless variety MUST be air born!

I will take every opportunity for the rest of the week to remind you ad nauseum.

Sunday was spent in bed feeling sorry for myself and sleeping as much as possible. Until Commander Conker called to inform me that he and the lovely Rose Thorn were out and desired my company for the big Man Utd vs Chelski game. I was out of the door before my "thanks, but no thanks" was cold. And what a game! Needless to say the fucking mercenaries from London got whupped good. Actually, to be fair, it was an even, exhilarating game - we just capitalised on our chances better. Happy days - top of the league...

So yesterday evening I was on Dinner Duty for band practice and - as if this were even possible anymore - managed to out do myself. Roast chicken fit for the Gods. In this case, The Gods Of The Sun. Those that know, know...

Big fuck off shiny hangover this morning with extra badgers...

Which brings us conveniently to the gospel according to Saint Smith for the day. It all ties in. Trust me...

Book 1 : Chapter 10 : Verse 4 - 8

Come on. That's very easy today.

Easy like Sunday morning. Just not the one coming up. You know, the one after the Axxon show on Saturday night. When your face will be removed. And you will see the most awe-inspiring thing your eyes have ever seen. Through a forest of slinkies. An aural assault the likes of which you have never experienced before. Oh the Numanity!

NGDG: "Since when did the paedophile moustache replace the Wallaby as Australia's team mascot?"

Spread The Love. Or You Could Be The Next Victim...


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