ASS BADGE

As in "I am an Ass Badge."

This morning I committed one of the 7 Deadly Intraweb Sins.

Casually logging onto FaeceBoobs, sipping only my second cup of coffee for the morning (because it's imperative I find out what's been happening with each and every single one of my gazillion friends overnight), I spy a story about the daft responses a bunch of Miss USA Pageant competitors had to the question "Should we allow maths to be taught in schools?" The YouTube is hysterical, but alas, a parody. Alarm bells should immediately have gone off, considering the, erm, quality of the women on show. Pagaent material they were not. More like Wall-to-wall Wal-Mart. Anyway, what does Mr Clever Clogs do? I fucking "share" this link and write some incensed rubbish about how fucked the world is and so on.

Luckily a friend of mine in the States hastily informed me of my blatant faux pas and I quickly deleted it. She's a member of MENSA so I don't feel that bad, actually...

Anyway, if you were wondering what the 6 other Deadly Sins of Intrawebs usage are, here goes:

1. Failing to write "LOL" or "ROFLMAO" or ":)" every single time one of your fwendies says something vaguely funny or even remotely intelligible.


2. Not having at least 23 out of focus shots of you doing the pout-looking-up-at-shitty-camera-fone pose.


3. Spamming the crap out of the entire Universe every time your pathetic fucking band needs to win a poll to be allowed to spread its cancerous aural filth on some shitty little stage in some crappy little club no one will ever go to anyway.


4. Not having a BlackBerry and not complaining loudly every time RIM packs up.


5. Not having a natural affinity to anything and everything to do with cats, their pictures on the net, and all their wonderfully fucking annoying applications.


6. Sharing pics or links of fake scares and/or funny videos and then ranting about how kak everything is in as indignant a tone as you can muster from behind the relative safety and anonymity of your keyboard. (See yours truly above)


7. Not having a ridiculous fake middle name that is somehow supposed to shed some light on the inner complexities of your mildly deranged psyche.

Anyway, that's just how it seems to me, considering the mean...

So, there you have it. Oh by the way (excuse me, I surely meant "btw") a friend of mine is taking me to go and watch John Cleese at the CTICC and SBITU. Whaaaahoooooo! Do you have your tickets yet? If not, tough patootie! They're sold out. I'm so excited I could write ":)"

Ja, and go read about the whacky adventures of Tarty Farty Tequila Party at Mocking The Meisies. Corking good stuff!

NGDG: "Death to tyrants!!! This Colonel clearly lacked any secret ingredient to keep his brand of madness going indefinitely. Now who's next? Someone needs to do a 'Columbiana' on Radovan in his cell methinks."

Spread The Love. Until You Walk Funny.