Tuesday, October 18, 2011


Today we start off with a picture and fill in the words as we go along. Expect a post so full of literary genius as to be worthy of repeat prints. Through the ages. Like a Tom Sawyer. Or something by Orson Wells. Rather more like a "leeuvel tiertert"...

In keeping with the "au naturel" theme, you see.

And in pushing the envelope even further, I feel compelled to report the green fingers I now possess. Mastering renovation, house-keeping and cooking it seems, is not enough. I have now taken to horticulture. I replanted my jasmine plant yesterday, a most manly endeavour, and I am pleased to announce the green pepper plants I am growing from seeds have ALL sprouted. Can you imagine the culinary delights I will be able to concoct? Wow, that's an awkward word.

Anyway, the picture above pretty much sums up how I feel today. Like you could pour me into a coma. A kind of sloth-like decrease in heart rate and lust for life. Content to just occupy space and launch drivel into the Universe, such as it is. Which brings us to Riaan Cruywagen minute:

  1. Today marks the birthday of the Meyer Of Awesomeville - happy birthday your emineminence! Hope you have the best day ever! Will raise a glass in your honour this evening.

  2. John Cleese is coming to SA - performing at the Cape Town International Convention Centre and Slowest Bar In The Universe.

  3. Terry Pratchett is set to release another book into the world, actually I think it may already be available. I believe it's called Snuff. He will also be visiting our shores in the not too distant future.

Ok, so that took way more than a minute to type, but knowing how proficient you rabble rousers are at reading, it's a fair trade off.

It's hotting up. Yes it is. Silly Season - and this time I'm referring to the time of year bands prefer to play live shows, and festivals are inundated with requests for the same thing. What happened to playing, winning over fans, making a record, winning over some new fans and losing those that first discovered you (that's how it goes...), and being chosen to play on merit, popularity and the ability to perform a set of entertaining, engaging songs?

Why do bands have to be voted onto bills by internet poll? It's like promoters have discovered this fascinating way to pit bands against each other and are sitting back on their lofty perches having the fattest laugh at the peasants scrambling for scraps off their celestial tables. Don't get me started on the amount of spam this creates either, with every "band" and their mother pleading, begging and promising sexual favours just if you'll go and fancy their chances with a simple click.

It smacks of Idols. Same concept and it can't possibly be good for the industry.

I suggest spending your time honing your craft and then eventually letting your music speak for you. Ha! What a joke. You'll never get anywhere like that! Everyone knows you have to spew out whatever kotch-core is en vogue that week and then whore yourself shamelessly on FaeceBoobs.

Then you can spend the rest of your time waiting for the adulation to come pouring in. Or begging for validation online...

On a far more positive note, I'd like to thank modern society for allowing such a remarkable degeneration of moral accountability to entrench itself in our lives.

NGDG: "I bought my own birthday present. Something tells me no one would immediately answer 'Tomas Transtromer' to the question 'What would Neal like this year?' "

Spread The Love. Click "Schmaak" For EVERY Band For EVERY Festival. Confuse EVERYONE!

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