Thursday, October 27, 2011

DON'T NEGLECT THE BALLS!



So the most hypocritical burke in existence, the one who sees fit to build houses for himself in Sandton to the tune of several millions of tax-payer's rondts and flaunt his ill-gotten wealth in a very "let them eat cake" manner, is organising a march to make us aware of the plight of the poor and down-trodden? Fuck you, sunshine! I am all too aware of the plight of the poor and the down-trodden. Every single time I am assaulted by wave upon wave of people convinced I need MORE coat hangers or fake sunglasses, every single time I stop at every single intersection...

Let's not get into the laborious mud-flinging fiasco we're currently witnessing as the various political entities jockey for position leading up to what I suspect to be some important election of sorts - you could set your watch by it. It's a genuine pity that so few (by comparison) actually realise what's going on right in front of them. Even more of a pity that the status quo is set to continue due to the apathy of the 'haves', the ignorance of the 'have nots', and the avarice of the 'totally, like, have way too much, hahaha you insignificant little people down there we don't care about any of yous'.

I'm not a political creature, but we should really stand up for basic human rights, shouldn't we? Like insisting that they bring better bands to our shores. Also, I'm going to organise a march insisting on the immediate cessation of hostilities from the Parlotones.

I suppose, like Herr Juju, the less attention you pay them, the sooner they'll wither and die? Ok, I'll give it a shot. That's the last of it.

Speaking of shots, Tarty Farty Tequila Party is living it up in Durban-by-the-Sea having a lovely time on holiday. Making steak chips and eggs for dinner - in Durban - on Diwali? No sacred cows there! I am sure you will be regaled with wonderful tales of her whacky adventures upon her return, but in the meantime, where the fuck is your List, madam? We've all been waiting months, if not years! So take some time, take some shots, and take aim at the less fair of the sexes and let us know what it is you're using as a list of criteria, so we may amend our wayward ways.

And speaking of Durban-by-the-Sea. Shannon Hope is about to commence her hugely anticipated country wide tour in support of her exciting new album 'Fight A New Day' and the Cape Town show is going to be huge. There will be champagne. There will be a grand piano. There will be the mesmerising voice and style of one of South Africa's most endearing and engaging acts. I'm donning extra socks for the evening - as I fully expect mine to be knocked off! This is all going down at the Fugard Theatre on 5th November. Do not disappoint yourself.

And as a precursor to the magical eargasm courtesy of Shannon, I am going to indulge in a weekend full of ghoulish tunes and grim costumes.

Friday night sees the mighty, majestic Sleepers take up their traditional slot on Old Hallow's Eve at Mercury.

Saturday morning the delightfully diverse duo of Natalie & Matthew from Witness To Wolves will be entertaining us with an intimate set at Paul Bothner in Claremont.

After which A Walk With The Wicked, Mind Assault, Bulletscript, Infanteria, and Junkyard Lipstick will all do their best impressions of devillish little demons as they entertain the gathered masses at the Purple Turtle for Halloween Slaughter II.

DJ Reanimator, Curious Robot and co will be spinning their best dancefloor treffers as they Jack-o-Lantern Jukebox their way into the witching hours and beyond for Music For The Masses at the old D'Elyzium. I'm sincerely not looking forward to Sunday. If I'm lucky I may just have turned into a pumpkin. Pumpkins don't get hangovers.

NGDG: "Having to wash dishes after cooking a tasteless meal is like having to cuddle after bad sex."

Spread The Love. Or I Kick You In Your Ghoullies.

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