Wednesday, April 10, 2013


Morrissey said it best when he intoned "Most people keep their brains between their legs".
I have no idea whether or not the "piece" in the picture above used that as a reference, or if there is someone else out there as astute as our man Morrissey, but it doesn't matter. It serves a purpose. Most people do, in fact, rely on their genitals to come to any sort of conclusion.

That would explain my drastic slump from academic greatness at age 15. My poor Mum was devastated. Then I went a step further and after studying for a decade, did something completely different. Some days I sit and daydream that I could be a professional beer taster or mattress tester. I've always wanted to make my own wine, but much like the inevitable "being paid in CDs to work in a CD store" scenario, that probably wouldn't work out.

So speaking of aphrodisiacs, I see another species of rhino has just been declared extinct. Congratulations, mankind! You rotting, festering carcass of worthless fucking carbon, bile and maggots. Keep killing off our wildlife, keep torturing our animals, keep believing your outmoded and archaic and cruel beliefs, keep violently abusing the innocent, keep making dubstep. Fuck you.

And for those of you that aren't complete arse hats, here is some good news. It's a beautiful day in Cape Town. The Hot Girlfriend is coming over. The Doom Band is coming over to make sweet gloomy noise again. It's been a glorious day of peace and quiet in the office - truly, bliss is being left to your own devices without anyone around. I've arrived at an almost zen-like state of calm. Then I made the mistake of staring into the soul sucking void that is the internet and all hope evaporated.

Ag never mind me. I'm merely moaning because absolutely fuck all interesting has happened to me recently. In the absence of interesting things to report on, I am forced to focus on the negative. I'm a happy-go-lucky scamp!

Or perhaps it's the way the Universe has had its natural equilibrium unceremoniously ripped out from under it like the proverbial rug. You see, Tarty Farty Tequila Party published posts on her blog. Posts! Plural. The natural balance of things is severely out of whack. That would go a long way towards explaining my relatively  boring and uninteresting offerings. But at least we'll always have Rob Zombie. Incidentally, he has a killer new video out. Inspirational stuff...

NGDG: Consumers complain that conglomerates are filling our foods with all kinds of chemicals and additives that we don't understand. Well, I just bought a health salad and, apart from what may be rice, I have no idea what half the stuff in it is.

Spread The Love. Muti So Issie.

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