Thursday, April 25, 2013


Beer and boobs. That pretty much where the similarities end...

So Tarty brings up an interesting point. She accused me of being a metalhead. Or at least resembling one. I'm not affronted. Or surprised. But let me take this opportunity to decisively separate myself from the herd.

  1. Metalheads have long hair (mostly, until life forces them to relinquish their locks). Ok, you got me there.
  2. Metalheads listen to only metal. There are obviously the odd exceptions, but I guaran-damn-tee you they are in the minority. It is virtually exclusive. This is not the case with li' ol' me.
  3. I actually hate most of what would be classified as traditional metal. I've always hated the likes of Iron Maiden and Megadeth. I'll probably get donnered tonight for that admission.
  4. As in any genre of music, it is really only the top 1 or 2 percent that are worth my attention and/or adoration. This precludes me from the generalisation of "metalhead", a group who would  choose to listen to the music based on genre rather than quality. (I sense another beating coming...)
  5. Metalheads are quite comfy with the "us against them" stigma. In my case, the world has never wronged me and I have very rarely, and only in ill-advised fits of adolescent naivety, ever taunted it by pandering to the notion of being an outcast. Fuck that, everyone loves me, I'm not misunderstood and I loved school because I'm clever and enjoy sports and socialising.
  6. I will NEVER cut the name of a band into my arm, although I will admit to being willing to dish out a stern frown if you have anything kak to say about Paradise Lost.
  7. I flat-the-fuck-out-refuse to see anything remotely attractive in Viking/War/Folk/Battle metal. Hail! Hail! Fail! Chainmail! (Here's where I get ostracised by most of my friends... Don't get me wrong, to each his own. I just don't like it.)

The list could go on forever...

Thinking I'm a metalhead is easy. 99% of my friends are and, given my love affair with heavier-than-lead guitars, this is not an absurd conclusion. But given the choice to listen to Anthrax or The Cure, guess which one will win every single time. But as I said, most of the people with whom I associate are real, genuine, metalheads, and a finer group of people you are not likely to meet. Just being part of the True Believers camping at Ramfest was a privilege in itself. Fucking hairy, stinky, crazy bastards!

So, with the ominous prospect of all my mates giving me the leery eye tonight, I'm off to go and watch the mighty Metallica rock The Velodrome. I may even put my "horns" in the air or headbang a little. Don't judge me. I can be whatever I set my mind to. My mommy always told me...

NGDG: Like a tit, I've gone and ordered two copies of The Blackout's new album. Who has something excellent to swap for it? I'd give it away but I'm selfish.

Spread The Love. We Will Tolerate!

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