SEX, SEX, SEXY SEX!

The world has once again been plunged into uproar and righteous indignation. The internet is abuzz with stories of the Boston Marathon bombing, in which a handful of people were tragically killed and many more injured. Countered by the inevitable stories highlighting the plight of victims of America's so-called 'War On Terror' and the obvious conspiracy theories, it is indeed a sad day. For humanity.

Here is a summation, for those of you too fucking thick to have noticed.

1. America is the world's bully and anyone who doesn't believe that is a stupid c**t who deserves to remain ignorant.
2. Circus animals are trained using cruel and inhumane methods and any and all animals in captivity (unless specifically for rehabilitation or to avoid complete extinction) is a kak idea.
3. "Every body knows... the poor get poor, the rich get rich" - Reed.
4. The entire world is full of bastard institutions who exist only to extract the last drop of value out of you and to infuriate you in the process.

And here is a different type of summation.

1. Posting positive messages on inspiring backgrounds turns you into the Dalai Lama and you will have great sex with a gorgeous person forever and ever.
2. Posting funny pictures with hilarious quotes that everyone has already posted makes you The One True Barry Hilton and you will have great sex with a gorgeous person forever and ever.
3. Posting sardonic barbs against religion makes you the world's leading authority on how to be cool and you will have great sex with a gorgeous person forever and ever.
4. Posting pictures of cats will make your penis grow bigger or your waistline slim down until you're a super model that the whole world wants to invite to swish soirees and you will have great sex with a gorgeous person forever and ever.
5. Other people in the world - with a keen focus on the ones in your direct vicinity - are excruciatingly aware of the weather conditions you are experiencing.
6. Begging for votes to win "Best Photograph", "Hottest Ass", "OMG My Band Is The Besterestest" or sharing pictures of products automatically guarantees results and you will always be admired and the postman will bring large bags of goodies on a daily basis... And you will have great sex with a gorgeous person forever and ever.
7. As long as you're able to convey the message without too much unfortunate misunderstanding, the age old application of grammar and spelling has become superfluous.
8. Making lists complaining about the inequities of the world makes one a giant turd-burglar. It's too late for me, save yourself.

People! Stop aiding my belief in my incalculable superiority!

NGDG: I had the sensation of someone watching me so I put down my book and see a cat in the room. I don't have a cat. I let it out into the garden although it probably came in through the internet.

Spread The Love... And You MIGHT Have Great Sex With A Gorgeous Person Forever And Ever.