Thanks to Captain Clavicle for the pic.
You'd think that after a week off, and time to reflect, rest and smell all the roses on one's walk through life, that you'd come back to the salt mines invigorated, eager and with a new lease on life.
Not so.
If anything, time off serves merely to illustrate how fucked we all are. It pulls into sharp contrast our everyday working lives and our lazy, self absorbed holidays. Getting up this morning was murder. Being stuck behind this screen all day has been a nightmare. Gee-whizz, I hope the world miraculously changes its taste and buying ethics very soon so that I can make music for a living.
At least I was spared the never ending, inane news. And the daft jibber-jabber that is social media. Didn't miss it in the least. And of course the one piece of news I do get is the sad and tragic news that a music icon and one of my all time heroes passed away. RIP Jeff Hanneman, your influence on my life was immeasurable, not just for the riffs you wrote or the band you were in, but the influence you had on so many other bands that have also shaped my life. Your riffs were SEISMIC and your contribution to the deranged panic plastered across the faces of suburban parents the world over, priceless.
Anyway, for those of you bereft of something resembling a life, how about I give you a brief run down of my holidays.
- I slept late.
- I finally (...finally...) hammered/bolted/nailed/glued/coaxed the last of the kitchen cabinets into permanent place and lo and behold, now suddenly the fucking stove top won't work. Dismantle/swear profusely/give up/call a professional - happening soon.
- Did a lot of garden surgery - then was told it is completely the wrong time of year to do so.
- Discovered an awesome movie called 'The Perks Of Being A Wallflower'. Great soundtrack.
- Also discovered I'm rubbish at plastering, and promptly gave up halfway. Swore profusely. Going to call a professional soon.
- Inexplicably survived without Faeceboobs, Twitter, Skype or online news.
- Braaied.
- Drank.
- Installed new blinds in bedroom, thanks to Rose Thorn. This contributed largely to the sleeping in, as they are 'black out blinds' and I awoke mid afternoon most days thinking it was still the dead of night.
- And to top it all off, like the proverbial cherry on the cake, I gave my mechanic all my money to transform my car into a not-deathtrap once more.
I didn't do any running, though. I am currently filled with a sense of foreboding and utter dread, as I am committed (or should be) to my post work calamity-of-flailing-limbs. I just know I'm going to kak off. Oh well, with any luck I'll make it all the way there and back without losing a lung (although dignity may be less of an option) and get home in time for a shower and band practice. After which I hope I can find something that I can heat up in the microwave...
And that, folks, is all I have for you today. I was hoping to bring you more exciting news, reviews and interviews, but my mind is like a sieve and um... wait a minute... what was I on about...
Boobs! That's it! Boobs! Wonderful, wonderful boobs!
NGDG: I went to a mid-day movie at the cinema. The only other patron was the cleaning lady, who'd gone there to eat her lunch. Early retirement is lame.
Spread The Love. Use Both Hands.
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