Thursday, May 9, 2013


For those of you who cannot operate properly or function without a cup of coffee to keep you going. Today is one of those days for me. Imagine my surprise when I woke up with a tribe of heathen cannibals attempting to recreate the musical Stomp in my head with 50litre oil drums and banjos strapped to their feet. Then imagine my startled realisation that I'd slept through the entire night without setting the alarm or latching the backdoor. Anything could have happened. ANYTHING!
I'm surprised I wasn't violently accosted or visited by a small furry animal. If the news is to be believed, I miraculously escaped certain death. What a relief, then, that the marauding gangs of criminals were otherwise occupied.

Speaking of criminal activity, last night's band practice was so good it bordered on being against the law! One day you will all be suitably (and celestially) blessed enough to share in the glory, but for now it is being hidden away from prying ears. Yes, let's go with that...

And speaking if the Criminally Insane, some good mates of mine have taken it upon themselves to organise a SLAYER (always written in capitals!) tribute show to honour the life and contribution of Jeff Hanneman. I think it's a splendid idea and I will definitely be in attendance, even if I was left out when the teams were picked. Like the fat nerd with no co-ordination or ball skills. Probably for the best, though. You don't want to remember the legacy of one of the greatest and most influential guitarists and bands in metal's illustrious and rich history, standing by while some lanky show-off mangles South Of Heaven beyond recognition. Details to follow.

So going back to this new invention of mine, the Stimu-Latte...
What do you think goes in one of those? Could it be Red Bull? Ginseng? Viagra? And what would you stir it with? Some phallic object? (I'd most sternly recommend caution when using your own phallic object on the grounds that the liquid might be too hot and you'd first need to blow on it...)
Do you think Starbucks would go for something like that? And would you take cream with yours?
I think I'm on to something here. I shall go and instigate some market research, especially since Cape Town has magically transformed itself into a coffee-connoisseur's heaven of late. Gourmet Coffee is the new Sailor Jerry and everyone is still wearing stupid hats. And since debauchery is high on the list of everyone's favourite things to promote about themselves, maybe my idea has a fighting chance...

Ag, what do I know? Can you tell I don't have anything of value to contribute today?

NGDG: I'm beginning to think a Playstation is like marriage. You get one because your friends have one and it's great for passing the time. But there are certain bits that annoy the hell out of you and you just can't win without Googling for cheats.

Spread The Love. Send Caffeine...

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