TOO MUCH PORN?

The glory that was my weekend - a short report:

Friday I played football. For a change I actually played, instead of losing the fight with gravity and style. I managed to score 4 goals in a display that would have Sir Alex Ferguson rethinking his retirement from the game just so he could sign me to my beloved Manchester United.

A quick shower, and 2 even quicker beers later, I was kindly but firmly evicted from my home in order for the gaggle of gigglers to get their party started. I left with a sense of foreboding and dread second to none. It's amazing what a steak dinner and a glass of good wine can do for your worries. I returned home from supper with the folks totally prepared for the holocaust that I was expecting at home...

...instead I got three little owl-eyed couch potatoes and 2 already asleep inebriates. I was almost disappointed. Very surreptitiously checking for material damage I poured myself wine and joined them to watch the end of a movie, before everyone called it a night. Dismal, ladies... dismal! The youth of today...

Saturday I was woken by the excited chatter of one of the guests blathering on about some entirely inconsequential shit ad nauseum. No amount of hugging pillows to head would cancel out the bone-saw quality of this diatribe, so I got on with getting on with the day. Next adventure, beach braai!

Meeting up with Tarty Farty Tequila Party and her band of miscreant followers, we got comfortable around the fire at Maiden's Cove, a beach resort nestled between Clifton and Camps Bay. More picturesque would be a tall order. Much laughter, banter, and braaing later, we dragged our weary, half sunburned arses up to what used to be La Med to experience the best post-sunset, most expensive beers, and worst service known to man. And quite naturally, as is inevitable with these things, a dispute about the fucking bill.

Sunday was Mother's day. We went to spend the day with the Mother In Law, and as is custom, ate far too much. A post meal coffee at my wonderful Mother's home and we were on our way to our own quiet evening in, having missed the quasi-religious routine of watching Top Gear and Modern Family on a Sunday afternoon. All was forgiven, though, as The Hot Girlfriend spoiled me rotten. She really is a treasure.

Moving swiftly along, before your curiosity gets the better of you and you start with your questionable speculation, tonight is going to be equally awesome. Rose Thorn is providing the pizza, TDB is supplying the technical expertise and I'm providing the inspiration in the form of wine, and alcohol-fuelled self importance. Yes, you guessed it. It's band practice night again! Can't wait. Mainly because it will, significantly, mean that I have made it out of my post-work run alive.

Anyway, that's me for the day. I'm going to spend the rest of the day dreaming up shit I want for my birthday, as everyone is hell bent on asking me.

NGDG: Just when you think happiness has something to do with love, financial security and not having to live in the East Rand, you see a billboard that says "Happiness Is Eastgate [Mall]".

Spread The Love. There Is A Light That Never Goes Out.

Eh, Pygmy Pants?